Can We Ever Be Happy in This Mental Illness Life?

the-phope-640386-unsplash.jpgI am not sure that there is a right answer to this question. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy where my life is at the moment. I am moving forward, and life isn’t passing me by. I am doing my best to meet life head-on in hopes that the current trend will stay true.

2018 has been an interesting year for me. I have grown so much as a writer than where I was at this time last year. I achieved some great things. I finally finished my bachelor’s degree, and I am in the beginning stages of working on my master’s degree. I finished my memoir, and it is close to being published. This blog has become this amazing thing in my life, and I hope it is also that way for anyone following this blog. I have nothing to complain about if I am honest.


There is just one thing missing in my life. Someone to share it all with… I will, again, be honest, but I have not been looking for a relationship. I decided a long time ago I need to get my life back on track and find some success before I even think about bringing someone into my life.

That still holds true today, but given this time of year, it would nice to have someone to spend some time within the little free time I have lately. That brings me back full circle. Is it possible to be happy without someone at your side?

I am not great at letting people into my life. This life, the mental illness life, is always too messy. I keep everyone in my life at a distance. It is the best way to keep people from getting hurt. I have hurt the people closest to me when it comes to this life. Could I let someone into my life that doesn’t understand what it is like to live with a mental illness?  That is the other side of this coin because the truth is if you haven’t lived this life it is harder to understand. The stigma is real, and I am still learning to love myself first.

That is why we fight to end the stigma. Maybe next year when my memoir is published, and life is a quieter I will find a way to let people into my life.

That is where I will end this… Let me know your thoughts!

Always Keep Fighting


Photo Credit:

Kal Loftus

The Phope

Valentin Antonucci

12 thoughts on “Can We Ever Be Happy in This Mental Illness Life?

  1. Pingback: Can We Ever Be Happy in This Mental Illness Life? – The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog – International Badass Activists

  2. you know, I think that a lot of people at this time of year long to have someone. I do think that you can be happy even without someone like that by your side. I feel that it is important to learn to be okay with yourself because what it boils down to is taht you are going to spend most of your lfie with yourself and even when you have someone, you are going to not work with them probably therefore again you spend most of your time alone with YOU. You need to be able to be happy with yourself as well. I think that if you have family or some friends you are doing okay. ❤ Be happy alone and then you can probably share a life with another person as well. It is a funny thing really. I always look at youtubers when it comes to this. With or without their signifficant other they are still a person and their relationship doesn't define them. Also, your mental illnesses shouldn't hold you back because everyone has some baggage and if someone loves you they will be there to support you and maybe even help you get out of them ❤ ❤ ❤ take care

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  3. In my experience, there can be happiness even within this hard life. Some days are just better than others. Some days I can laugh and enjoy myself and go to bed with a smile. Other days I can get overwhelmed and feel like trash and cry myself to sleep. I think the trick is learning to stay positive. Keep telling yourself that tomorrow is a new day and the future can get better. Always move forward, with or without a special someone. We don’t all always need a special someone. But we all at least need a friend by our side. We’re social creatures for a reason. We get through this life together by supporting each other. It may be hard to open up and trust people, but sharing your burden with someone can make all the difference.

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  4. Something I find helps me get through my tough times is “I never lose, either I win or I learn (Mandela).” On your tough days, don’t beat yourself up for feeling bad or struggle against the tide. Instead, sit and think it over. Was there a trigger? Are there successful coping techniques you used to use and haven’t tried in awhile (like drinking some tea or listening to songs you liked as a little kid [even dumb ones like the ABCs]? I try to view these moments as learning experiences and remember that happiness is only valuable because we do not experience all the time. If we were always happy, then happiness wouldn’t be such an amazing thing.

    Also, I agree that learning to be comfortable and okay while alone is important. But, if you really struggle, don’t underestimate the value of “someone” to talk to. You could consider getting a pet or even just a plant or stuffed animal. I personally have a Marimo moss ball I chat with sometimes. Also, I like to go to old graveyards and talk to the people. I mean, they aren’t going anywhere – why not talk to them? It helped me get through some tough times when I was too busy and broke to go to therapy consistently.

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  5. Pingback: Can We Ever Be Happy in This Mental Illness Life? — The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog -

  6. It is difficult living alone. But, one can find happiness living with oneself. I have realised over the years, that however much you may love someone, share your life with them, care for them, someday they will move away from you–emotionally, if not physically. That, love will someday wane and you will be left alone. Learning to be emotionally independent helps a lot, because everyone leaves, someday or the other. It’s best to learn to survive alone. Enjoying one’s own company makes life much more bearable.
    Hugs to you!

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  7. Hi James! The truth is, relationships are hard and take a lot of work for anyone. I have been married for over 15 years now to a wonderful man. He’s kind, he’s funny, he’s a great dad…he’s so many things that I would list that I think about him before I ever got to the line that mentions he’s also been diagnosed with both depression and anxiety disorders for many years now. We all have something that could make us hard to understand to others. I am super detail oriented and although I generally like to live in a loving and non-judgmental frame of mind as my natural state, I can be quite uptight about a few things and I’m sure that causes challenging moments to live with. For example, I like having puzzles lay totally flat. Seriously, I steamed and ironed a puzzle once I wanted to glue together for my son’s wall because the pieces came warped. When I was younger, I used to think my negative things defined me and made me harder to love. And perhaps for some people they did. The right person will see other things about you that will matter more than the things you’re worried about, and that is always worth waiting for. Happy writing… 🙂 Ariana

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