What are Your Worst Mental Illness Symptoms

I feel better. My depression lessened over the weekend, and I have a good feeling about where the rest of February will go when it comes to the depressive episode being entirely over.

I have not felt this good since the first week of January. While thinking about what to write this week on my blog I came up with a question that I want to pose to the followers and contributors of The Bipolar Writer blog. Just a couple of questions.

Identify what you struggle with…

What are your worst symptoms?

How do you dea?

Feel free to leave your comments down below! Let us use this as a stepping stone to something great. Maybe it will inspire you to write a blog post!

Always Keep Fighting

James

unsplash-logoMarc-Olivier Jodoin

unsplash-logorawpixel

Advertisement

An Update on my GoFundMe and Raising Money

I wanted to give an update of the campaign going on for The Bipolar Writer blog and raising the money to upgrade to the business blog. This will take this blog to the next level and I will be able to allow people to sell their written work here on my blog. There are also so many big things that come along with the business plan so that we can continue to share mental illness stories.

I know it is a lot to ask. So many of us in the mental illness community struggle to meet their basic needs. Here is James asking for money. I know the struggle (it is why I can’t spend the $300 plus of my own money to take the blog to the next level.

We have raised $135! That is amazing.

We are still short of our goal of $325, the cost of the upgrade for a year. If we raise enough, I’d like to upgrade for the next two years (which totals $435.) If you can donate it would mean the world to me, if not I understand. 100% of what is raised will stay with the blog and only used to upgrade.

There are three ways to donate!

GoFundMe Campaign

https://www.gofundme.com/rasing-to-upgrade-the-bipolar-writer-blog

Now, I had to use my real name for this (I write under my pseudonym James Edgar Skye) so don’t be surprised by the name–David TC. Also, this allows me to show how much has been donated (I will give the running total at the end of the post.

Donate Through PayPal

Upgrading The Bipolar Writer Blog to a Business

My goal is $325. The cost to upgrade The Bipolar Writer blog to the business level. I am going to try and keep this post going all weekend in hopes that I reach my goal. Please, if you can help it would be amazing, and if you can't, I understand. I haven't done one of these in a while, so here it goes!

$3.00

This is another excellent way to donate, and to do so just press Pay with PayPal and you can choose to give a minimum of $3.00 (you can decide how much based on the number so 3 times would be 3 x 3 and you would donate nine dollars.) 

Venmo – 831-287-4369

I don’t mind sharing my number (I have before several times in the past.)

That is it. I am hoping to raise enough money by this weekend.

If you can’t donate please reblog this post or share my GoFundMe link above, it would mean the world to me!

\unsplash-logoSteve Johnson

It’s Time I Fly

Persistent I focus on growth,

you cannot help but complain.

Much of my life, it’s been the same.

Never enough

Or the wrong time,

Too much,

too soon.

You find the most inopportune moments as if you are searching for a clue.

Mysteriously problems arise,

My fault, in your eyes.

Chastise me as your child,

In which I am.

Except I am grown.

Stifling my creativity

learning

it’s my time to go.

No pointing fingers but is it because of you my inner child refuses to grow?

Pushing her down to size with every no.

There’s this fire pleading from inside.

Tired of being shoved,

made to hide.

Grappling with confusion

your love is no illusion,

yet toxic,

chaining me to who I long to un-become.

It isn’t my will to be done.

Stepping out of my own way,

I am being shown the sun.

All the possibilities frighten any notion of me not by your side.

I deserve a sense of pride.

It’s time you let me off this ride.

Mom,

please set me free so I can learn to be me.

You accomplished fixing me the most you could.

But the time has come,

As I knew it would.

And now I go

with one foot in front of the other,

discovering myself

on this long, desolate road.

You did your best and it has come time

I do the rest.

Guided by your wisdom,

I must leave the nest.

Thin

I feel it

It is trying to lure me in

Singing its melody

Like charming a snake

Wrapping me in a warm coddle

Promising to protect

Never to neglect

Except.

.

Washing aside egotistical pride

Burrowing

Nestling

Within

Refusing a grin

Dare I let depression

Win?

?

It’s an unfair battle

I become reliant

Forget defiant

It’s familiarity encompasses

My being

A scab repeatedly opened

Never quite to heal

Do I give in

And kneel?

.

.

The persistence penetrates

Wearing down the thin

Weak barrier

Forever inferior.

Taking on this Giant

The one not to be tamed

Bowing out

No longer can I refrain.

A Repost – Upgrading The Bipolar Writer Blog – I Need Your Help

Upgrading, and Why it is Important

There was some confusion about how to donate money to the cause, and I wanted to take this opportunity to redo my previous post. I will explain what upgrading means for this blog. These are the ways to donate.

My GoFundMe Page

https://www.gofundme.com/rasing-to-upgrade-the-bipolar-writer-blog&rcid=r01-154734596066-ffeec50b38af4a27&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

Now, I had to use my real name for this (I write under my pseudonym James Edgar Skye) so don’t be surprised by the name–David TC. Also, this allows me to show how much has been donated (I will give the running total at the end of the post.

Donate Through PayPal

Upgrading The Bipolar Writer Blog to a Business

My goal is $300. The cost to upgrade The Bipolar Writer blog to the business level. I am going to try and keep this post going all weekend in hopes that I reach my goal. Please, if you can help it would be amazing, and if you can't, I understand. I haven't done one of these in a while, so here it goes!

$3.00

This is another excellent way to donate, and to do so just press Pay with PayPal and you can choose to give a minimum of $3.00 (you can decide how much based on the number so 3 times would be 3 x 3 and you would donate nine dollars.)

Venmo – 831-287-4369

I don’t mind sharing my number (I have before several times in the past.

Right now we are at $110 total donations which is pretty amazing. Every penny will be going to the upgrade. I thank everyone who has already been a part of this goal. The goal is $325, what it would cost to upgrade for two years. When I reach this goal, I will be taking this page down.

What I am planning on doing is upgrading this blog to the business class. I can do a lot more with sharing the stories of others through this platform. What I want to do is take this blog to the next level. I want to be able to allow others to sell their work on my blog. (It will also help me sell my own work so there is that part of why I would like to upgrade.)

When this blog hit 10,000 (now plus) followers, I was thinking of ways to make it better. My goal is to spread the word about mental illness. Upgrading to a business blog would allow better SEO tools among the many positives of this upgrade. I would love to do it myself, it is my blog after all, but most of my money is going to my memoir. This would benefit any mental health blogger that wants to be a part of this fantastic community my collaborators, and I have created. I want this blog to be so much more and reach so many more amazing people.

Let’s do this together! If you can’t donate please share this blog post on social media. It could make a major difference!

Always Keep Fighting (AKF)

James

unsplash-logoIan Schneider

Hurricane

Her walk some consider a flaunt

Posture like that of a ballerina

A look of confidence masks her truth

Up close you will see the tremble of her hands

If you dare look her in the eye,

intensity becomes visual

Unpenetrable wall hides her pain

Her soul broken in innocence

Shame,

Her life sentence

From the inside, she cries

Suited up in armor to face each day

Baring weight

Is a life of struggle her fate?

An internal debate

Wrapped in a nice package

disguising her lethal contents

A fuse only she can extinguish
Carving a path for herself
Shredding what is in the way
Like a hurricane
Labeled insane
They have no insight into the insurmountable pain
She hears the chatter and soon realizes, it doesn’t matter
For it is her who controls her destiny
Accepting nothing less than wholeness
She brave the stillness
Silence sheds light on a continuous fight

The Bipolar Writer Needs Help… Again

https://www.gofundme.com/rasing-to-upgrade-the-bipolar-writer-blog

This is my GoFundMe under my real name David TC (I wasn’t sure if I could get the funds if I used my Pen Name James Edgar Skye.) Thank you in advance for donating!

So, my goal is $300. The cost to upgrade. If 100 people donate 3 dollars, I can reach my goal quickly (the donation button is below through PayPal.) I am going to try and keep this post going all weekend in hopes that I reach my goal. Please, if you can help it would be amazing, and if you can’t, I understand. I haven’t done one of these in a while, so here it goes!

If you can’t donate please reblog this post or share my GoFundMe link above, it would mean the world to me!

You Can Also Donate Below!

Just Click the Pay with PayPal button!

Upgrading The Bipolar Writer Blog

My goal is $300. The cost to upgrade The Bipolar Writer blog to the business level. I am going to try and keep this post going all weekend in hopes that I reach my goal. Please, if you can help it would be amazing, and if you can't, I understand. I haven't done one of these in a while, so here it goes!

$3.00

Always Keep Fighting & Thank You

James

unsplash-logorawpixel

Meant to Be

For his attention

She fight

Without his approval

Her dreams would not catch flight

Self-sabotaging rendered her insane

Poison flowed through her veins

Risking a life she could not love

Losing faith of anyone above

A father who belittled his daughter

Confusing her was the pain

She sought in others a fragile love

The one missing from within

Disposing of men

Forbidden sin

He set an example forever ingrained

Love equals pain

The rejection of his affection left her exposed

Substance she snorts up her nose

Numbing the pain

Heartbreak upon heartbreak she gain

A constant battle with her brain

A destiny to heal her heart

Finding herself falling apart

She doesn’t know where to start

Forgiveness is key

In being set free

And unlocking who she is meant to be

A Final Goodbye to 2018

My Last Thoughts of 2018

2018 was a fantastic year The Bipolar Writer blog. I can’t believe it was only the first full year.

149,136 views!

I meant to do this post prior to the New Year, but I digress. I want to say thank you, first to the many followers of this blog, and second to the collaborative writers that make this blog amazing. This year would not have happened without all you amazing people. We are all kindred spirits fighting the great battle–ending the mental health stigma.

Here is to 2019! The best year ever!

Always Keep Fighting, and Love Yourself First!

James

unsplash-logoChris Gilbert

2019 and Me

2019

I try not to put much emphasis on the new year but this year seem a bit different. Setting resolutions is not my style but I have set three goals for myself as well as a word. All of it surrounds the discovery of self. I stumbled into my forties in December of 2018 and am surprised I made it this far. Life as a bipolar alcoholic hasn’t been without struggle and pain.

---

If 2018 taught me anything it was that I have not a clue who I am. Where I start and my illnesses end. Simple things such as what I love, my style, my individual identity, my voice have been masked by pain and were once drowned by alcohol. As I peep forward into 2019 I foresee pain yet with life-changing results. I will follow the intuition that I have ran from my entire life. Stepping out of myself to volunteer my time to the less fortunate will play a huge role in my new year.

Something I have always craved is understanding. How can I convey my truth and my story without knowing who I am? That has become my mission; find me. Forgiving myself and others will help boost my confidence and allow me to shake that heavy energy. I have felt a continual pull towards giving of myself to others and 2019 is the year this will happen. My plan is to give of myself in hopes of finding myself. If nothing I will have contributed to my community.

The opportunity of working with local sex workers has opened up for me and I am excited to give it a go. While I have never been a sex worker myself I share similar qualities to those in this area of work. Yes will be my go-to for helping others in need but no for those close to me. Sounds a bit backward but I find that those close to me aren’t in need, they are in want. Hell, I want it all but the reality is I can’t have it and so I say no to them. It will be a big change and difficult I am sure but all will be fine.

I set no expectations on 2019. I will follow lead. My heart’s lead. I want to learn to love and not feel ashamed that I do. I want to embrace what my soul desires. And I will. No matter how awkward it is. I will follow. I am going to paint, write, and believe in myself. And if I fall, I will rise stronger than before!! If I can do it, anyone can.

---

Six years ago I was drunk sleeping in my truck in an unfamiliar Wal-Mart parking lot. I was kicked out of three sober living homes and considered myself worthless. Well, in my pit of despair and at the bottom of a gallon of vodka I decided I was worth something. Now it is four years later and I am three years and nine months sober seeking that something. One lesson I have learned is that life requires time. Time to prepare, time to believe, time to heal and time to forgive. My journey will not be in vain. I will be patient with myself this coming year and I will have more compassion for others.

revengeofeve.com

If you are interested in following my journey, please do! I have completely revamped my site. I deleted all of my old content, bought my domain, upgraded my plan and look forward to recording my journey at revengeofeve.com.

---

With confidence I created my own niche and will blog about a variety of topics but of course mental health plays a huge role in my life and serves as the basis of all I do. Embracing my truth and learning to live will be my legacy. Do you know yours?