Where Has The Bipolar Been?

Where has the Bipolar Writer been? Its been a tough couple of weeks, and due to being sick, I have been MIA.


I wanted to update first my recent depression cycle over the past few months. On that score, things have been good as I have improved dramatically in decreasing my depression to a low level. It is not entirely gone, but I feel refreshed for the first time in months. It was so great to feel better, but then when things began to look up, about three weeks ago, I got very sick.


Today was the first day that I have had the energy to write. I wanted to share what was going on in my life, but there were plenty of days where I stayed in bed and for the most part, I had the energy to keep up my school work, which luckily has not suffered.

It feels good to find my strength finally. So many things have gone by the wayside the last few weeks and coupled with my mental health its been a rollercoaster. I was not sure for all of last week if things could get better–I was that sick. I wish I were 100%, but I am still looking at an uphill battle. After medication, my breathing and congestion issues have improved, but my cough still lingers.

I am hoping another rest day today will once and for all knock out this persistent cough.
I am happy. My depression is gone; for now, my familiar friend depression has gone away. On the upside, I am in formatting with my publisher on my memoir, and I am close to publishing–it has been a journey in my first publishing experience, but I am so excited for what I have learned and excited to see my cover in the coming weeks.

Life continues to move forward no matter where your mental health or your health, in general, is at this point in your life. I could have given up. Decided that I had enough and quit, but you and I both know that is not me anymore. I will be adding my monthly newsletter later this week, and for those who have not signed up, it will update my life. It is usually put out at the beginning of the month, but being sick pushed it back now for almost two weeks.


I have a few blog posts in the works so you will see me here plenty from here until the end of the year. It is still the plan to move myself and my blog to the platform Patreon, but I want to finish this year strong. With that said thank you for your patience with me.

Always Keep Fighting

James

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What I Learned Being Sick – A Mental Health Thing

kelly-sikkema-516850-unsplash.jpgIt feels good to be back!

I was sick from Thanksgiving to about Sunday with the flu. It was the worst I have had since getting bronchitis in February of 2017. That is what I get for forgoing my flu shot this year.

I learned a lot about myself while I was sick and barely eating in the first three days of being sick. The first was that I worry too much about letting people down when I am not writing here on my blog. I realize that I have commitments that I have to put first. While writing new content every day would be fantastic, it is also impossible with being a full-time student, freelance writer, and have my own projects that I am completing.  Life is too short to always be worrying.

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The second thing I noticed is that I don’t slow down enough in my week, and it has lead to my overall health declining. I have two modes in life–fast and faster. I will cram so much work into each day, and even when I do take breaks, I am still moving too fast. I forget that I am already dealing with my mental health on a daily basis and that I need to honestly take time to catch up on sleep not work. I need to just relax a day without worrying about anything else.

I believe that is what leads to getting me sick. The funny thing about me getting sick is that just days before my dad told me to slow down or it could start affecting my overall health. I knew he was right, but I didn’t slow down.

It was a good thing in the end because these things are workable in my life. I also learned that I don’t always have to rely on Ativan. On Friday, I took 1mg at night and that was it. It is safe to say my anxiety took a backseat to being sick, but it proved that I don’t need it to survive (I have really though lately that it would be impossible to get off my medications.) I feel confident that things can be different from here until the end of the year.

Maybe being sick was God and life telling me to slow down.

You learn new things everyday. Stay strong in the struggle!

James

Always Keep Fighting

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoRU Recovery Ministries

Kelly Sikkema

Katie Moum

When the Bipolar Writer is Sick

It has been a tough week and my first real test of 2018. I have been so laser-focused on all that takes up my time during a week that I let myself get sick. What makes it worse is it means I am feeling like crap while trying to continue to work during my week. Today was the first time in a while where I slept in and stayed in bed until the afternoon. The last time that happened was during Christmas, and I wasn’t sick then I was depressed.

I was thinking of letting the entire day go by and stay in bed binge watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. which is always good. The beauty of technology is that I can write in bed and still be productive. I haven’t written a piece when I am this sick. It’s kind of uncanny because at this time last year I was in the hospital with bad stomach ulcers and bronchitis. In retrospect, I am not in such a bad place. I am not depressed about being sick even though I stayed in bed it didn’t bother to be as much as it usually does.

I never dealt with being sick in a good way. It usually is a prelude to me feeling so depressed that I all I can do is lay in bed hating being sick. I would lay there feeling more depressed while coughing my brains out. It feels much different this year, and I am not sure exactly why. It could be the place I am in right now. I have never felt so great while I am sick. This place I have found in my writing means my life, in general, is, well, amazing.

It makes me smile that I even after everything I have done with The Bipolar Writer blog I still wake up happy. I am excited each day to share something new on my blog. I still get excited when I see people follow and comment my blog. I wish some days I could sit in front of my computer and connect with every single blogger that follows me. That would be an amazing thing, to be honest.

When I started The Bipolar blog back in September I had no real expectations of where my blog would go. I had dreams no doubt, but I had tried this blogging thing before with very little success. It felt different than the other two times I had attempted a blog. I have to admit 2017 wasn’t my best year, but it was the best year since my diagnosis. I look at where I am going and it amazes me I have been able to stay focused each day.

I never start great in a new year, but I look at the fact that it’s February 1st, of 2018, and I have never felt so alive. I don’t mind being sick because it means I can slow down a bit. I am ahead of my homework this week and I can take a break from my freelance work for one day. I gave myself a break today, even writing this post.

I am truly blessed to be alive in 2018. I can remember times over the past ten years where I didn’t believe I would live past the day I was living in, let alone be in 2018. But, I even amaze myself sometimes. Today I proved something to myself. Being sick is a part of life, it means you have to slow down. So, that’s what I will do for the rest of day. Relax and rest. Get better, because I have great things ahead of me.

It has been an amazing journey with every one of my fellow bloggers in the mental illness community. It’s already February. Let’s make it an amazing month.

Always Keep Fighting.

J.E. Skye

Photo Credit: unsplash-logoMatheus Vinicius