What is Next for The Bipolar Writer

Photo by Sean Kowal on Unsplash

I got the final concept of the cover of The Bipolar Writer: A Memoir, and it looks fantastic.

For those that don’t know, I have been working over the last two years to become a published author. I am about to achieve my dream! Which feels amazing!

I have always wanted to do more outside of my writing. This year I have written a 210K fantasy fiction novel that is in the second round of editing. I also wrote a 35K novella that I am self-publishing to give as a tier on my Patreon. My dream would be to write full-time and maybe teach once I finish my master’s program if I decide not to go for my Ph.D., which is a possibility.

I don’t want my time as a mental health advocate to stop at just my memoir or even this blog. I have been looking at expanding my advocacy with a podcast. I still have to deal with my issues with my panic disorder and social anxiety, but it is possible.

The other idea that I have comes from this blog. I, for a while, was writing the stories of others and sharing them on this blog. I was thinking of a new book idea and sharing the stories of those who can’t write their thoughts and experiences. I have experience writing my memoir, and I loved sharing the stories of others. I have inquired with a few of my past interviewees, and they think the idea is a good idea.

I wanted to know your thoughts on this idea? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Always Keep Fighting

James

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Celebrating The Bipolar Writer Blog Two Year Anniversary

I never thought that on this day two years ago, The Bipolar Writer Blog would take off and become what it has been over these two years.

Alongside my contributor writers, we have done amazing things to help spread our stories of the struggle that is living with a mental illness. We have done a fantastic job at spreading the word and working towards ending the stigma through understanding and shared experiences.
This blog has been an amazing journey. The things that I have shared here gave me the courage to write my memoir, which I found out today is done with formatting (it looks incredible). My publisher is waiting for the cover artist to finish and I moved closer to publishing my first book–which seemed impossible before I started this blog.

Thank you for inspiring me over these last two years to find myself as a writer, blogger, college student, and above all, be in the right place with my mental illness to share my experiences. It has never been easy, but with your help, I have continued to grow. Things will always be going up as things continue to grow within this blog.


This blog became a safe place for all those who want to share their mental illness journey with the world. I would not change anything we have done here with over 1,100 blog posts in two years we have done something pretty amazing here.

What an amazing two years!

Always Keep Fighting

James

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All Good Things Come to an End

The End of the Road?

I started this blog in September of 2017, for a class on how to sell yourself as a writer.

Creating a blog, as any blogger can attest to, is the hardest thing you can do. I never thought in a million years that this would reach so many people. When I made the jump to making The Bipolar Writer blog a collaborative one, it opened up for so many people to bloggers who are trying their best to live their lives with a mental illness, and still, write about their experiences.

2018 was a fantastic year, but for the blog which saw substantial growth on a hard platform to keep going. We reached so many people last year I came into the year hopeful that we could take this blog to the next level. We have been, as a blog, steadily decreasing since January 2019 in people coming to the blog. I think it is a lot of things. Blogging is in part dying out as viewers are turning to video blogs and those who do both. WordPress to me is dying out and we can see that just by looking at the raw numbers.

I have been thinking about the future. I have so much going on as a graduate student and as a writer that blogging is not fun for me anymore. Maybe it is time for me to move on, find a new platform. I have, for the most part, failed to launch my Patreon account though I will still continue to do so in hopes of having that be my next platform. Though I never thought about video blogging, it seems that is the future, and thus I will be making the change soon.

What Does This Mean for the Blog

I will keep it going at least until the end when the domain name needs to be renewed for another year, that is in March of 2020. I will most likely not be adding any more contributors because I am not sure if there is an audience anymore for this platform. Maybe the next few months will change my mind, but I feel that moving on to bigger and better things in the cards for me. I might just keep the blog going for the sake of those who come to the site looking for answers. I still want people to come to this site and find hope among the stories of others.

The Future

The future of James is interesting. I have a book that will be published soon and I plan on using the platform Patreon to sell my book. I think for me that is where my life is taking me and we shall see what that means. In the coming weeks I will talk about my book and more about my own future.

Always Keep Fighting

James

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A Note to Contributors

I will admit that my last semester, which in the end, I was up to my usual standards, really kicked my ass.

Here on The Bipolar Writer blog, I have let things slide, and I am writing to my contributors in hopes to do some house cleaning this week that I am off before I start my next semester. I have been missing a lot of things because I am barely on or have time to write a blog post. I am either writing or working on my school work. I will try and be more on keeping things tidier here on the blog. Here are some things that I would like to clean up my fellow contributors.

  1. Issues with leaving posts in drafts: I understand that sometimes you start to write a blog post, and you lose your thought you think, “I will come back later.” Maybe you scrap the idea, and I understand, but too many drafts from people dating back to May. From here on out if a post is in the drafts for more than two weeks, it will be deleted. I don’t have time always to be going to drafts to check to see if you’re ready to post. Not all contributors can post, so I need to spend less time looking through posts.
  2. If your post is ready to publish, please give 2-3 days minimum and max between when you’re going to publish. If you’re a contributor that can’t post their own, please put your post into a pending review, so I know its ready to be published.
  3. Please put at least one picture in the “set feature image” section of the document. Most are doing a great job, but I like the site to be clean, and when you fail to put a picture in that section, it will show up as blank on the website.
  4. Two Post a Month minimum, I understand we all have busy schedules, but I get people every day asking to contribute, and I need to make room. If you have not posted since May and don’t schedule a post at least one post by the end the week, I will be deleting you. I am all for writing more than two posts, but in four weeks it is not a lot to ask for two posts, and it was a requirement when I added you. Many people want to share their stories here on the blog.

I ask these things to make it easier and for the flow of the website to be flawless so that people can get to know us in a fashionable order. If needed I will change schedule times for blog posts (only if needed when too many people schedule on a single day.) I want this blog to be a place where we can share our stories and there is a real possibility that I will be walking away in January, so I am hoping to find someone that is willing to take over!

If for any reason you can’t contribute, like your mental health or personal reasons, please just email me so I know where your at, I understand the struggle is real! Much love.

Always Keep Fighting

James

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Off My Chest

So, as you can probably tell, this is not going to be like my usual posts. My brain has returned to its normal, insanely fast pace. I of course didn’t really do anything positive to help myself. I watched some of the saddest music videos I could find. Of course, you know that I believe music to be one of the most powerful things that humans have ever created. A single certain song can make or break your whole day. Today, the song that set my spiral was 1-800-273-8255 by Logic. You may or may not know that that’s actually the number to the National Suicide Hotline. And of course, it has a very sad music video, and very sad lyrics. I found myself sobbing at the end, and went on my usual depressive train…I am not proud of myself, because I worked so hard to become not depressed, and here I am, willingly slipping back into it. Granted, this is not my old clinical depression, this is simply situational depression. Yet, that doesn’t make it suck any less, and that doesn’t make it less terrifying to me.

What I have to get off my chest, is the two main reasons that I wanted to die while I was depressed. These may sound like small problems to you, but to me, they meant everything.

The first reason I wanted to die, is that I am a empath. See, sounds trivial, but let me explain. You see, when I see, or hear about people struggling, with anything, my depression deepens because I cannot help them. It really all stems from the phrase, “You can’t save everyone”. That single phrase kills me inside. There are things going on in peoples life that makes them suicidal. Or maybe you were/are like me, and you’re suicidal for no reason, all the time. You know, now that I think about it, I probably should have started with reason two, because they are rather intertwined. The second reason I wanted to die, is the world f*cking sucks. There are such injustices in the world, slavery, oppression, corporations pushing products down our throats. I like to think that I’m what the kids call “woke” in that I see everything wrong with the world. Yet, I’m only one person. I can’t fix the worlds problems. You see how the two problems are intertwined? It hurts me to my core that there are so many problems in the world, and I can’t fix any of them. I can’t save everyone, nor should I. But that’s where my empathy takes control of my mind. I so badly want people just to love each other, and love themselves. So, I started blogging to help with my own issues, and I really wanted to help as many people as I could reach. The internet is a wild thing, we are all connected now, literally. How can I focus on myself, when there are so many problems in this world. Now, I have to stop myself from thinking like this, because it will drive me deep back into depression, and I cant go back, I won’t.

For real though, like what the actual f*ck is hate? Why do some people hate other based on their skin color, gender, sexuality, whatever. It pisses me off. It pisses me off even more that I used to hate people based on things they couldn’t control. Yet, the wealthy and greedy all only care about money or power, or both. I mean, we could cure cancer, but do you know why we won’t? There is more money to be made treating the disease than curing it. That’s f*cked isn’t it?! Why the actual f*ck is there a market for child sex? Like WTF is wrong with people? Why do corporations continue to destroy the planet, and then blame our individual actions? Like me using a plastic straw is worse than dumping millions of gallons of trash into the ocean. This world is just full of such bullsh*t, and I couldn’t stand it. That’s why I wanted to die. The rich and powerful continue to trick the rest of us, making us think we can change things. But as soon as we affect their bottom line, it gets swept under the rug.

I am terrified to have kids, because I KNOW that I won’t be able to leave the world a better place for him/her/them. And I’m just supposed to live my best life, while turning a blind eye to all this? How the heck can I do that? I so desperately want to live a normal, not even happy, just like baseline, life. These thoughts though, it is a real struggle. Now don’t get me wrong, there is true beauty in the world. I want to be able to focus on the good in life, I think that’s the only way I’ll make it, but I don’t know if I can. I need hope. It’s as simple as that. ECT did treat, and probably, cure my med resistant depression. But without hope, I don’t see my life changing all that much. Please. Whatever you do, just love yourself, love others, let’s make this world a place suitable for our children, our children’s children. Let’s just live and love life. Please.

A Thank You, Patrons

Sunday is always my relaxing day but writing is life

Relax. Such an amazing word. It is something that I do not do well.

This month my Patreon account has grown a little with the addition of three new members. As it is the end of the month, I wanted to have a special shout out to those who have joined my writing journey.

For the purpose of this post is only to name first names as a thank you.

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  1. Angela
  2. Chris
  3. Paula

For those that are interested signing up and becoming a patron, the sign up is easy, and the lowest tier is $2, and in the future, when my book is published this summer, I will be adding more to the tiers. So why not become a Patron of my writing??

A New Bipolar Writer Blog Milestone

12,000 Followers on The Bipolar Writer Blog

I always celebrate the significant milestones of the Bipolar Writer blog. I know I am not around as much, but I wanted to say The Bipolar Writer blog has reached the 12,000 followers milestone!

I wanted to say thank you to everyone following this blog and keeping it going. To my contributors, thank you for being there even when I can not by creating valuable mental health content. Let us celebrate our mental health advocacy, mental illness, and mental health recovery wellness.

Always Keep Fighting

James, and the Contributors of The Bipolar Writer blog

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Writing Topics for June

It has been a struggle to keep up writing new content for The Bipolar Writer Collaborative blog. With my hectic schedule with my graduate courses, my freelance work, and my writing projects there is just not enough time to do everything that I want to get done. I want to change this narrative.

So, this blog post is asking what type of new content would you like to see on this blog. It can me anything mental related and I will make sure that I write good post. So leave your ideas in the comments.

Always Keep Fighting

James

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Medication Changes in 2019

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This year has been the one for many changes as my new psychiatrist since the start of the year continues to make my life easier so that I continue to be productive in my graduate studies and writing projects.

The first change has been a good one. I am no longer on Ativan, and I have changed over to Clonazepam, which has helped my social anxiety and my general anxiety. It had some early drawbacks like I was really tired the first two weeks of taking the medication, but eventually, that went away, and the results have been positive.

My psychiatrist wanted to change my mood-stabilizer from Lithium to Depakote, but I had a bad reaction to this medication to where it was raising my anxiety the longer I was one it, and I was able to stop the medication and stabilize. Sometimes in this mental illness, life medication changes are not great, and this is one of those trial and error things that comes along with this life. I was able to stay on the lithium which seems like it will continue to be my future.

Today I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today, and she wants to make more changes since the Depakote failed to work. Right now, I am starting a new medication again called ____, and I will know in the next few weeks if it will work with the medication that I am already on. I am no longer taking antidepressants, so this new medication is supposed to help curb depression, but it is not an antidepressant.

The one piece of bad news is that there is not really a change for Seroquel, one of the most essential medications that I take and also the bane of my existence.

The medication would be fine if all it was for was to keep any voices at bay (not that I hear voices anymore that was a long time ago), it was used as an anti-psychotic, and for sleep. But the side effects suck. The two main ones are major grogginess with waking in the morning and the weight gain. Since having to take more to get me to sleep, my weight keeps increasing no matter how much I work out and change my diet, which I have done.

That has been my 2019 medication changes so far. Maybe there will be some positive out of all these changes, it is too early to know for sure, but at least I have someone that is finally listening to me. That has been a pleasant surprise so far. Things are always changing and that is a good thing.

Always Keep Fighting

James

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Music That Changes My Mood – 2019 Edition

One of the things I loved about blogging is the ability to share my experiences and love for many different things with my followers. One of those things is my love for music. I can’t imagine a world without music, and I listen to music every day of my life. One of the things that started here on The Bipolar Writer Collaborative blog was the idea of sharing music that changes my mood. This is coming at a good time as a recent bout of depression and doubts have flooded my mind of late. So here are some music that changes my mood.

The Veronicas – When It All Falls Apart
On My Own – Les Miserables
Girls Generation – Every day Love
Sara Bareilles – Brave
Rachel Platten – Fight Song
Christina Perri – A Thousand Years
Avril Lavigne – Wish You Were Here
Avril Lavigne – Keep Holding On
Girls Generation – All My Love is for You
Luke Bryan – Play It Again
The Band Perry – If I Die Young
Anna Kendrick – Cups

Always Keep Fighting

James

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