My move is official, and I am into my new house. It is a chance for me to reset the clock on my life. It was time for something good and change. I think it will be helpful for my anxiety. One significant life-changing thing this week– the move. Then at the end of this week, I will be completing the primary goal since starting my recovery journey that I have been working on over the past four years.
I will be the first to graduate with my bachelor’s degree in my family.
As I start this new stage of my life, a chance for something new, I wanted to reflect on how things have gone since 2010. I remember it still as if it was yesterday. I was laying in a hospital bed, the second time in two weeks. The first hospital visit was a suicide attempt where I came close to dying. I spend three days in a coma because of an overdose. If I am honest, I didn’t believe that I would wake up. I am happy to be living my life right at this moment.
It was in the second hospital visits after several seizures that I reflected on the path my life had taken from 2006-2010. It had been a life of chaos. I wanted stability. It was the first time in my life that I admitted that my life was falling apart– and I finally said “I am Bipolar” for the first time since my diagnosis in 2007.
It was there that my life started to change. I realized at that moment that for some reason, despite trying so hard, that there was something bigger going on in my life. Against the odds, according to my doctors, I survived– barely.
It has never been easy. Every day I struggle to find the balance between my life and my mental illness life. The lines are blurry between the two worlds. Since that moment I have been happy. I have been sad. I have been through depression cycles both long and short. I developed social anxiety, lived through the worst insomnia, and found a place in this world where I belong– like becoming a mental health advocate.
Just in the four years that I decided to go back to school and get my degree in creative writing so much has happened in my life. The good always outweighs the bad. I went through bleeding ulcers last year– I survived. There were so many times that giving up seemed like the perfect option– but I persevered.
I have written my memoir which has been my most significant achievement. I wrote a screenplay that featured a character that was Bipolar, and the novel version is close to completion. My favorite thing in the last four years is creating The Bipolar Writer blog and coming up with my psydonym– James Edgar Skye.
My blog has become a place of solace and where I can be myself. Sharing my journey with you has been the highest part of my day.
My upcoming achievement is a testament that even with a mental illness you can overcome and do great things. We can fight. I can fight. Always keep fighting because we can’t let mental illness win.
I offer this last thing before ending this blog post. Together we can fight the stigma surrounding mental illness. I challenge you to write your story. Collaborate with other mental health writers and advocates. Life is too short to let mental illness win. Above all work on your mental health first.
P.S. Its time to open a bottle of Jameson to celebrate this coming weekend.