The Bipolar Writer Podcast S1, Ep. 17

Photo by Jukka Aalho on Unsplash

Just a reminder that The Bipolar Writer Collaborative Blog will be done as of March 12, 2021. I will leave it until my birthday on April 10 for the free version for WordPress and then be gone forever. I hope you come with me to @ Buy Me a Coffee. Support or become a member through the button below.

The Bipolar Writer Podcast Interview with Aby

My latest interview is with a dear friend. I call her Aby, and she is a member and moderator of the Infinity Warriors of Mental Health discord channel. I have known Aby for almost a year. It is an honor like always to share others’ stories, even those that I know personally.

Desiree Loeven – pen name Aby Kittiwake. She is a mother of 3 and married for over 18 years, writes poetry and fosters animals in her spare time.  She belongs to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and her faith means everything to her.  She is diagnosed with ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, and C-PTSD.

You can also find the episode here.

How can you become an interviewee? Just email me @

I will record the Zoom interviews and use to put the podcast on different platforms like Spotify and Apple Podcast or anywhere you listen. The only thing that will go live will be the audio file, and while I save my interviews, it will be on my cloud. The podcast is all about exploring the stories of depression, self-harm, anxiety, suicide, mental health issues today, mental illness stories, and everything in between. I would love for you to be one of the people who began on the Bipolar Writer Podcast’s ground floor. Thank you for your time, and you can use the contact page.

It is my hope for The Bipolar Writer Podcast to become fully listener-supported. You can become a supporter of the podcast here You can also support the podcast by clicking the button below, where you can buy me a coffee.

So how can you support The Bipolar Writer Podcast and James Edgar Skye? Well, there are several ways.

  • There is becoming a listener supporter through the where I do my podcast episodes. That link is here. It is simple to support Apple Pay or a credit card for once month, and you can end your support whenever it feel right to you. There are options for $0.99, $4.99, and $9.99, and all options will go 100% to the podcast. No need to create an account. 
  • Last is Buy Me A Coffee, a great platform in my mind and where I want to grow most of my lister support for the Podcast, blog, and in some ways, my writing. You can be a monthly subscriber or a one-time supporter. There are options for extras that include one on one mental health advocacy Zoom call, where you can ask mental health questions about blogging, tiers with my books, and other unique extras. The options for payments are credit card or PayPal. Soon, my support website Buy Me a Coffee will be t-shirts, mugs, and stickers available as soon as I get all that together with more support. You can click the button below.

The Bipolar Writer Podcast Interview with A.K. Wilson The Bipolar Writer Podcast

About A.K. My name is A.K. Wilson, or otherwise known as Angel. I am a mother, blogger, mental health, and domestic violence survivor advocate. I am a multi-genre author and writer.  I was born in New York, Raised in NJ, made a home in Kentucky. I live life to the fullest and cherish every moment. My links 🙂 Contact James If you are looking for all things James Edgar Skye, you can find his social media visiting Also support a life coach that has influenced me along my journey of self-reflection: The Bipolar Writer Podcast is listener-supported, and for as little as $5 a month, you can help support the mental health advocacy that I do by visiting Please help this podcast grow by sharing with friends or anyone that you think will benefit from the experiences of others and myself. You can also find me on the following websites. You can also find me on the following websites to book your interview, ask questions, and reach out to me. Purchase my books at: — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. — Send in a voice message: Support this podcast:
  1. The Bipolar Writer Podcast Interview with A.K. Wilson
  2. The Bipolar Writer Podcast Interview with Hunter
  3. Interview with Amy The Bipolar Writer Podcast
  4. The Bipolar Writer Podcast Interview with Norm
  5. The Bipolar Writer Podcast Interview with Kathleen

Always Keep Fighting.

What is the worst that can happen?

James Edgar Skye

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My Journey to Stability, Pt. 2

“…you’re the spawn of the Devil!” 

After watching the pictures fly across the room, my husband turned back to his screen, acting unfazed by my actions or words.  His response, or lack thereof, only confirmed my decision; I had to reveal him to the world as the true demon he was to me. Red flags waved the last four years, but I brushed them away, creating excuses for his behavior and words. He was a narcissistic bastard taking advantage of my ignorance. For all those years, I blamed myself for everything he did said, convincing myself it was my fault for the way he treated me. I needed to learn my place in his sick world. Being young and naive, I did not realize how I was being manipulated by someone who was supposed to love me.  

I wanted to scream, but the sound never left my throat. Instead, I staggered over to my chair, sitting down with an obscene lack of grace and nearly toppling over. My desk was a mess, but what I was looking for was within easy reach. The Jameson thudded against the wood as I snatched up a white bottle. Effexor was the anti-depressant I was prescribed after a questionnaire was given to me for the Bipolar diagnostic process in 2007, of which it was determined I had Major Depression, not Bipolar Disorder. Several attempts to find a medication were made to help me feel somewhat normal. None of them worked, but I stuck with Effexor despite the roller coaster. 

By Shara Adams

I did not feel suicidal, but the world needed to open its eyes and see him for who he was. The world needed to see me, to save me from the hell I was living. Rising to my feet, I opened the white bottle and poured out a handful pills. I reached for the Jameson without counting the capsules and set my reserve; I knew what I had to do to save myself and destroy him. My shoulders rolled back with determination, but my thoughts remained a jumbled mess from the alcohol and my inundated emotions. The world was spinning, and I did not know what to think or feel. All I knew was I had to escape the pathetic excuse of a man. 

“Is this what you wanted?” 

Turning to face me, I smirked with satisfaction. I had his full undivided attention, for once. The impact I planned on having with my actions, played over and over in my head. I did not know what was going to happen, and my mind did not consider the consequences which were possible. Blinded by the potential freedom, I could not back away from my decision. As I held the pills in my hand with a drink in the other, I threw them all to the back of my throat and followed them with the last of the Jameson.

Relief washed over me as I sat back down, ignoring him. I felt I had done the right thing, but after several minutes, the world started to disappear and I began to question myself – like always. I tried to blame it on the entire bottle of liquor, which I had consumed in a matter of a few hours. About ten minutes later, a knock on our apartment door brought the light back, but I could not move. Before I reached the count of three, five to six people swarmed into our small space and surrounded me both physically and verbally. I was confused as to who they were, why they were here, and what they were asking, but I responded to their probing questions as best I could. The realization hit me like a brick after several questions: they were paramedics.

My husband had called 911. For once in his life, he may have done the right thing.

By Shara Adams

More stories can be found at

Eve’s Interview Feature

The Journey to Recovery

Recovery. It’s where each of us in the mental illness community strives to reach in our lives. It can feel impossible at times because with a mental illness often comes other issues. Rarely are we lucky enough to have one aspect of a mental illness, and that is it, but recovery is possible. Ask Eve from, Louisiana.

“I would like to share that recovery from a mental illness is possible. I would also like the community to be aware of co-occurring disorders. They need treatment to heal. There is a light to reach towards.”

In this journey, Eve first found herself in the chaos of life That has never been an easy one for her. Before her diagnosis, Eve was an active alcoholic that was living life on the edge, and not surviving it at all. Alcoholism is never good mixes well with a mental illness.

“I lost my mind late August 2012,” Eve recalls. “I was suicidal and extremely sick. I had a breakdown at the age of 33. I was admitted to the hospital under the impression I was going for a detox.”

It became more than that for Eve, as her doctors put her into the psychiatric ward. This was one of three different psych ward admissions that Eve would have no choice but to endure. In mind of Eve had lost herself, and it felt as if it would be that way forever. Like many of us, Eve became hopeless in the constant ups and downs of her growing mental illness.

Eve did what she could to survive often finding herself at the bottom of a bottle. Drinking became a way to function for Eve, and she drank to sleep, to work, and to function daily. When combined with her ever-growing depression it became a deadly spiral for Eve. It almost ended Eve for good.

“I will have three years sobriety in April of 2018.”


Over the years Eve has endured a long procession of diagnoses. For Eve her diagnosis has been Major Depressive Disorder with anxiety. In January of 2017 Eve received her current diagnosis of Bipolar with anxiety and mild OCD. Eve has what her doctors describe as co-occurring disabilities.

A person with a mental illness often finds themselves lost in the daily struggle, and it is no different for Eve. In her life, Eve has found ways to cope with the daily struggles.

“I am able to record my moods, track them, and prepare myself for cycling,” Eve explains her struggles. “I began a new medication in September of 2017, a mood stabilizer. It has given me my life back.”

Eve now considers herself in recovery from her diagnosis of Bipolar disorder. There is no actual cure for Bipolar disorder. Eve finds comfort in this positive thinking that recovery is possible. She is living proof that it is true.

Still, Eve works very hard each day to continue her recovery. In the good days of Eve’s life, she is always smiling, and she knows that smiling is important. In the days that she can’t function she has to work harder. With her current medication, the hard days are becoming fewer and fewer.

Being Bipolar effects Eve’s life because of the unstable nature of the disease.

“You can not maintain balance without stability,” Eve explains. “And my source of stability is broken. I aim to achieve some form of balance, as much as possible. I go from one extreme to the next. My brain just doesn‘t work like others, making it difficult to communicate my perspective.”

Eve has found solace in writing her mental health blog. It has become a platform for Eve to discuss the extreme moods that she experiences. It has done wonders in her life. Eve through her blog has received validation and encouragement from her fellow bloggers. For Eve, talking about her journey has meant that she is in the recovery healing process.

In her life, Eve has found the good place and blogging has been a major factor. Eve has found the little things in life that make life worth living for her.

”My daughter makes life worth living, my family, a few friends, and a will to live,” Eve talks about the present. “I have not wanted to live a lot in my life, So giving myself credit, my will feels great. I am worthy of life.”


Eve has an amazing will to live and a spirit of recovery we can all look at as a positive thing. Eve has proven that with the right attitude we can start to recover from our mental illness. What amazes me about Eve is that besides having a mental illness she is fighting alcoholism. It is as if she is fighting multiple wars in her own life.

If you would like to learn more about Eve you can find her on her blog.

Interviewee: Eve

Author: James Edgar Skye

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoBenjamin Combs

unsplash-logoPaola Chaaya

unsplash-logoAngelo Pantazis