A circle of blurred faces surrounded me, all talking at once. The level of chaos outpaced my own mind and I struggled to keep track of what was going on. Drugged and intoxicated beyond capable cognition, the world began to slip away once again. In the mess of voices, the realization of my fragile state… Continue reading My Journey to Stability, Pt. 3
“…you’re the spawn of the Devil!” After watching the pictures fly across the room, my husband turned back to his screen, acting unfazed by my actions or words. His response, or lack thereof, only confirmed my decision; I had to reveal him to the world as the true demon he was to me. Red flags waved the last… Continue reading My Journey to Stability, Pt. 2
Excitedly, I join this blog’s wonderful team. I have been passionate about mental health for many years, and I hope to be able to share my journey as I continue to navigate through life with a mental illness. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II in 2009 (also in 2004, but I was a minor) and… Continue reading My Journey to Stability, Pt. 1
Bipolar is a debilitating brain-illness. Rapid Cycling is even worse. After my traumatic experience, I was determined to be in control of myself and my body from there on out. Unfortunately, that took a destructive path. I was very promiscuous and did everything I could to get the attention of older teenage boys to seduce… Continue reading Appetite for Destruction
First off, it was a crazy week. Full-time graduate student, working on my next fantasy fiction novel writing 5,000 words a day and finishing the second edits of my book that is in the publishing phase so that I can reach the final edits. All these things got done at the expense of my mental health and my work for the week. I bombed both assignments, something I have never done as an undergraduate (I graduated with 3.92-grade average) or in the three-plus courses of my graduate studies.
My wife says she can always tell when I go off my medication. She says I stop making sense, speak gibberish, and do and say things that are utterly irrational. I say she can tell because when I’m off my meds, I feel nonsensical, disconnected and irrational. I’m perfectly aware of the inane babble that… Continue reading The Unfettered Insanity of Unmedicated Bipolar Disorder
From what I have gathered from others that deal with cyclothymia is that depressive episodes are mild and never go into full-blown depressive episodes. On the mania side, the manic episodes are considered symptomatic of hypomania which a milder form of mania.
The title is not a rhetorical question… Bipolar folks: what do you do when you feel the depression is returning? I always thought I was a naturally upbeat, productive person, who just periodically went through some rough patches. The rough patches never seemed inevitable though; it was just unfortunate when they happened – and then… Continue reading What Do You Do When You Feel the Depression Returning?
This is the first part of a series that will be featured on my blog that describes what bipolar disorder feels like to me. In each post I will explore a single feature of bipolar disorder as I have experienced it. Today, I want to discuss how I find bipolar disorder to be engrossing. Now first… Continue reading Bipolar Disorder Described in a Word: Engrossing
Ever get so caught up in the day to day crap-you-have-to-do that you lose sight of what you actually need to do… or what might actually enrich your life? Of course you do! If you don’t, you’re probably kidding yourself. That, or you need to immediately publish a book enlightening us on your secret – probably… Continue reading Challenge Yourself! – Find 5 Meaningful Things To Do