Diagnosis (over ten years)

I was first diagnosed with something which was OCD in 2008.
I was 22, and it was long overdue.

I’d basically had enough and had to go and see a consultant psychiatrist.

Since then however, I have had a diagnosis of psychotic depression.

I am also referring myself for an autism and ADHD assessment.
there isn’t really any significant bonuses this will create nowadays other than personal clarity.

there is autism in my family, more than I’ve thought about properly before, and I am almost certain it is underlying, potentially before the OCD manifested itself.

It doesn’t matter where any symptoms come from anymore, I have written a book that looks at my symptoms from a fresh perspective and attempts to utilise mindfulness meditation as an adjunct to therapy.

I’d just like to say I have a lot of love for the mental health and autistic community,

Hopefully my book will inspire some minds.

I’m going to publish it on my 35th birthday next year.

My symptoms are quite discreet, I never used to run around screaming.
But inside I was screaming!

Just a short one today.

Much love

ASD, Bipolar Disorder and Bullying

ASD and Bipolar Diagnosis

I haven’t been writing for so long because I recently had my second manic episode. I later got diagnosed with a bipolar mood disorder (type 1) and I also got diagnosed with High Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) for the third time. I have always been aware of how different I am. How unique my learning techniques and social skills were. I have always been bullied my entire life for my mood disorder and especially my ASD.

Being Bullied

I have always been a goofy and awkward kid when growing up. A kid who was extremely gifted in linguistics, the arts, and mathematics. I have been writing since I was in pre-school to express my feelings to my parents. I have always been more comfortable around adults than my peers, I struggled to fit in.

I went to university extremely young and I had planned to finish my bachelors/honors degree at the age of 19 or 20. Like I said, I was really young when I went to university. I got severely bullied at university to a point where I was constantly being spit at by my peers. Called names on a regular basis, and have people make noise around me for no reason. I was socially isolated and rejected by my peers merely because I was autistic. People also started spreading rumors about me, saying that I claimed to have supernatural powers. Which was far from the truth actually. My bipolar disorder doesn’t have psychotic features but I was labeled insane merely because they felt the need to make me feel inferior.

Being Forced To Transfer

The bullying took a toll on my mental health and I got hospitalized twice before I made the decision to transfer to another university and change majors as well. I later developed PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) because of the extreme bullying I had endured. I transferred but I had issues with my self-esteem. Although I was a gifted academic, my low self-esteem impacted my studies. I had to seek counseling to face my fears and deal with what happened to me. My autism was always something that I kept secret. However, I am well aware of how the ASD has assisted me in excelling academically. My hyper-empathy and sensitivity to smells and noise are a result of the ASD.

ASD Is Misunderstood

People with ASD tend to be misunderstood and regularly mistreated and bullied in schools. ASD is a spectrum and neurological disorder, so people do not exhibit the same symptoms. Symptoms may be similar but they aren’t the same. It would be best for people to research about ASD and have sympathy for those with ASD. It would lessen the amount of mistreatment and bullying people with ASD have to deal with on a daily basis.

Parents of ASD Children

It takes a lot of effort to take care of people and children with ASD. I would like to thank loved ones and parents of children and adults of ASD. Thank you for being there for us.

Thank you for being with me. Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Love, Francesca.