It’s All About the Flash (a Very Free Verse Poem)

It’s all about the flash,

the flash of the past,

the flash of what was

the flash of what could have been.

The flash of dreams you want to come true,

dreams that would make your life better.

You know it.

You can feel it,

so you pray

and wait

and dream some more

for a better life.

Then you dream for better flashes,

flashes that tell you you are good.

flashes that tell you it will get better,

flashes that tell you people care about you,

flashes that tell you people love you,

flashes that tell you you will make it again

because you did it before.

Then more flashes asking why

and when will life get better,

flashes of other people’s lives

that seem so much better,

so much easier

than yours.

Then you just pray–

pray for acceptance of what is

and acceptance of what was.

Pray for peace

and patience

for your faith to become stronger.

You keep trying and fighting,

praying you will feel better soon

and then

you just pray.

Pray for happines

and peace

to come

again.

This is what recovery is

over

and

over

again.

I keep typing until I feel better.

It hasn’t worked yet

but I will keep trying,

fighting,

typing

woking through it.

Typing to feel,

to love

and live.

I will make it again.

I have made it before

and I will make it again.

Type, type, type

to feel real.

Type away my sadness.

Type, type, type.

The sadness–

it is still there,

so I type.

I type some more

and pray for happiness and love

to fill my soul,

for loneliness to leave me.

I will make it.

Recovery is possible.

Remember.

I am living proof.

I will never forget.

I am living proof.

So I keep living

and fighting

always.

I am ALIVE.

I am breathing.

I am a survivor.

I am ALIVE

to enjoy

the beauty

of living.

~Written by Susan Walz 


This is why I write and blog. Sometimes I know I need something, so I just type–to feel, to feel real. Thanks for reading. I hope you can relate to this.

Keep fighting, feeling and being.

Sometimes all we can do is “be.” Just “be.” Give yourself credit for accepting when you need to just “be.” Today is a day I just need to “be” so I am ‘being” for a little while until I can “be” more than I am now–until I  can feel more like me–the better me.

All of the “me’s” I have are okay

and all of the “you’s” you have are okay too.

Some days are like that. We need to give ourselves a day to just “be.

BE all that you can BE.

BE the best you

you can BE.

Much love and hugs, Sue


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Empty Your Pockets

This is a free verse poem I wrote because I have been struggling with my PTSD lately.

This poem is for anyone that has ever been hurt before. I hope you enjoy it.

Don’t forget to empty your pockets and always remember…


Empty Your Pockets

They knock on my door, but I don’t let them in.

They send me texts, but I don’t respond.

They call, but I don’t answer.

They leave voicemails. I listen, but never return the call.

They knock on my door, but I can’t let them in.

They try, but I refuse.

The fear freezes me.

Traps me.

Holds me in a bondage I can’t escape.

I can’t visit it now.

I can’t return.

Those are the memories you created.

You hurt me then, and you hurt me now.

I forgot then, but I can’t forget now.

Not right now.

It has resurfaced.

I am not sure when I will let you back in.

For now I stay away. Out of sight. Out of mind. Out of ear shot. Out.

I am frozen in the bondage that you created years ago.

You didn’t care then and I can’t care now. Not right now.

Maybe tomorrow. Maybe. I don’t know.

When it feels right, I will resurface. I will come back.

I will let you back into my life a little at a time.

Handle with caution. Handle with care.

I am fragile when wounded and I feel wounded right now.

Just because. Maybe because I am healing more. Always healing.

When wounded and injured, always healing and recovering.

I will be okay and I will come back one day.

I am not sure when, but one day.

When it is safe. When my heart tells me so.

I can’t be there for you right now.

You weren’t there for me when I needed you most.

You couldn’t be there for me the way I needed you to be.

You didn’t know how.

So, you put me it in your back pocket.

The place where you put everything you can’t deal with.

Don’t think about it. Don’t talk about it. It will go away.

But, it never really goes away.

It remains in your back pocket and becomes buried with the lint.

That was where you put me.

You must have a lot of stuff in your back pockets.

Doesn’t it make it difficult to walk around and live life when your pockets are full?

You need to clean out your pockets and take care of the junk that is in your pockets.

The place where you put things you don’t want to deal with or feel or know even exist.

The place you put things to deal with later.

Unfortunately, later sometimes never came.

Later became too late.

Like me.

You forgot you put me in your back pocket.

The stuff you can’t deal with.

The stuff you will deal with later, maybe.

I am the later maybe you forgot or didn’t have time for.

You forgot me too many times.

It is my time now.

I think I finally found a back pocket.

I will put you in my back pocket until later.

Just for now.

I will come back though.

I will never leave you in my back pocket.

Please clean out your pockets. You might be surprised what’s in your back pocket.

Maybe it is what you have been looking for, but forgot where you put it.

Maybe it is what you have always been missing.

Maybe it is what you always needed.

Maybe it is me.

~written by Susan Walz

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