Burnout And Complex PTSD

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Burnout and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C/PTSD) are rarely talked about. I think, for the most part, burnout and fatigue are the most debilitating symptoms that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Fatigue that is caused by my medication and from being extremely anxious and hypervigilant on a daily basis.

Drowning In Work

I find myself trying to drown myself into work, as a coping mechanism, whenever I get overwhelmed by my emotions (or lack of sometimes – due to my numbness) and my inability to articulate what causes me to feel anxious or depressed. It becomes an exhausting cycle, from time to time, and sometimes I seem unable to break out of it.

Life Is A Grind

I honestly believe that living with PTSD or CPTSD feels like I have been grinding for so long that my life has become a grid. I see myself eating at my desk more often than I should. Drinking more caffeine just so my body can cope with my grind or my need to keep grinding. Adding into the mix, my anxiety, depression and my lack of self-esteem coupled with my self-doubt that was instilled into my body by the trauma I have survived.

This seems to continue and gets to the point where I start eating less healthy and exercise less often. My mood than gets affected and everyone around me – well becomes frustrated with having to deal with my dark side. I honestly do get tired of feeling hopeless. This whole cycle then leads me into thinking that I have become inferior – by comparison – to who I was before my trauma.

This vicious cycle is unhealthy, I must admit. My body then gets to a point where it can’t take anymore stressors or continue to work. I think that this habit of constantly over-working myself can’t be stopped by self care mechanisms. although, they can help tame and slow down the process of burnout.

Get Help

If you are feeling this way at the moment, I hope you stop – pause – and listen to your mind, body, and soul. Because they are you and that is your power. Please try to seek professional help as well.

Burnout is the moment when everything gives, and it’s more common than you might think.

Matt D’avella

Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Love,

Francesca

Write for You

Creating is an outlet for emotions unspoken, passion untapped, or stories untold.

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Why do I write? Why do I spend countless hours spinning words and sentences into paragraphs attempting to make sense of whatever moment or idea has struck me that day? Why is it so important for me to express myself in a way I have never been able to do out loud to others or even to myself? Why is it when I unleash the pages of my truth do I feel fifty pounds lighter and as if I can conquer the world?

You ask any writer, musician, poet or artist for that matter why they do what they do, you will find that although each individual answer may sound different at the jump, as you peel back the layers, the foundation is usually the same. Creating is an outlet for emotions unspoken, passion untapped, or stories untold. It is a path to express oneself in a way that some may not be able to otherwise. Whether the reason stems from challenges to heartache or from excitement to success, the art of expressing oneself, in whatever manner it may be, is therapy for the soul.

For me, I write for me, it helps me to discover the truth about who I am and why I am here. I write words that sometimes are difficult to spell out and even more difficult to read; I write from a place that only I know is there until that moment my fingers dance across the keyboard; I write because the more I do, the more free I feel; and, I write for you, because even if it’s just one twisted tale or deep emotion shared, and a connection made, it is one less person believing they are alone in this journey of life.

There is no doubt I, along with my writing, has matured and shifted over the years, and while practice has helped, it is not where I place all the credit. In my growing up as a person and as a writer, I have found that the words are stronger and the meaning behind them deeper when they are honest, raw and real. I have learned this honesty by facing fears I didn’t even realize I had, extinguishing lies I have been telling myself, taking responsibility not for those around me, but for myself, and learning patience not just with others, but with me, and I have also found the more words I put out into the world (much like love, laughter, and kindness), the more I get back.

For me, writing is cleansing, challenging and can take me to places inside my head and my heart I never thought I would go, but has helped me carve my path to the real truth that lies within. Whatever your reason for creating, in whatever form that fits you best, do it for you. Write for you, paint for you, sing for you, and do it with raw honesty, that type of honesty that can be more difficult for you to admit than it is for people to hear. The fact is, the more honest you are with yourself, the more those around you will connect with your truth and the more you will realize you are not alone.

Much Love,

Lisa J

Does Your Mental Health Affect Your Relationships?

Does your mental health affect your relationships? It’s easy to answer. yes.

Anyone living with a mental illness knows that your mental health can contribute to how the relationship bonds change in your life. It is easier to keep bonds when your bond is deep like family relationships. But even those can succumb to how your mental state is at the moment.

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For those of us with mental health problems, at times we lack the skills to sustain relationships. It’s not that we don’t want or need relationships, it’s hard to deal with us. When it comes to making it work with spouses, family members, or even friends it can be a struggle.

I am Bipolar and deal with social anxiety or depression daily. It is more often than not when I make plans, they are often broken promises from the beginning. In the moment I may tell a friend that I will go to the movies and then cancel last minute. It’s not to be mean but anxiety before leaving my house is common for me. People get tired of this, and I over time in my own life my friends invited me to things less and less. They usually don’t hold their breath when I make plans with them.

It doesn’t make it any easier that I am very introverted and my natural instinct is to be alone. I would rather be alone writing than going out with others. I am wired that way.

My last real relationship with a partner didn’t end well. I ended it because there was no way that I could bring my girlfriend through what was ahead. It ended up being the right decision because the next three years would be the hard and dark. To this day I still feel as if bringing someone into my life would be wrong decision. Its hard enough dealing with the emotions that come with my depression and anxiety. How could I ask someone else to deal with me?

Still. Here at my blog The Bipolar I want to be able to give advice on things that I have learned. I am by no means an expert, but here are some of my thoughts on building healthy relationships. These thoughts on relationships could serve as helping your mental health. These thoughts are for any relationships like spouses, family members, or even friends.

The biggest thing when entering a relationship as the person with the mental illness is to express yourself. One of the worst things that I am guilty of is keeping my feeling inside. They eat away at your soul and it can strain any relationship. We all have concerns and any relationship expert will tell you that communication is key.

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But, It is even more important for those of us dealing with a mental illness.

It is never good to hold things in. It is important to release your thoughts and concerns in the relationship. The bad feeling will always accumulate when left unchecked and they may come out in a bad way. In my experience of not telling my girlfriend that I was suicidal, and then trying to take my life, put a strain on the relationship. She forgave me, but it was wrong to do that to her. It is one of the reasons why I ended the relationship.

A more recent example was with my best friend. We didn’t talk about the bad parts of life, and when she felt depressed enough to take her life, she turned to me. When she asked me to help her to commit suicide it became a major thing. I would never help someone do that to themselves. Now we don’t talk anymore.

We never talked about my own experiences with suicide. Even though she knew what I went through, not talking about it ended our friendship. At least for now.

One thing that I am famous for is being concerned about the small things in my personal relationships. When a friend never answers their text but expects you to always answer, is one I hate. It annoys me to a point where I start resenting the relationship.

I know in my own life I over-focus on my faults when I am depressed.

This can be counterproductive in my own personal relationships.  I will let my own faults get to me. I start to lose sight of the bigger picture in my life and all my focus goes to the things I can’t control. Look at the text message example. The little things can ruin a relationship when you have depression controlling your life. So don’t let the little things win.

I am probably the worst person to give tips on relationships. I’d rather be alone, but its important to have relationships in your life. Being in your head with only your mental illness can be a lonely place. One of the things I plan on working on in 2018 is pulling people back into my life. I want to re-cultivate the relationships that over years have gone by the wayside.

I also should meet knew people beyond this blog.

It could mean another step in the right direction of my mental health.

Always Keep Fighting.

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J.E. Skye

Photo Credit:

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unsplash-logoBrooke Cagle

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