Dream It, and Then Just Do It

I was reminded today that if you want something you just have to go for it. It’s easy to sit and dream away the pounds, spend the money you will earn from all the success you are planning, hear the accolades in your head from those who are inspired by your work, imagine how your book will smell when you flip the pages, how the cover will emulate the amazing words on the inside, what kind of author picture you will take and how it will look sitting in the Barnes and Nobles….sorry, got distracted by my fantasy 😊

It’s important to dream, we need to dream, small, big, feasible and even what some may call impossible.  Dreaming fuels us, it’s exciting, it drives us outside of our comfort zone toward where we are meant to be, but many times this is where we stay, in dreamland. We know what we have to do, we know that in order to run a marathon we must train, and yet as we dream of the finish line, the early mornings, the long miles and the sacrifices are just not as glamorous as the medal. We know that in order to have a successful business, we must build it from nothing, and it takes time, effort, blood, sweat and tears, and in order to publish a book, you must write one. We know this, and yet we sit in dreamland, frustrated our dream hasn’t happened yet and wondering why.

You may have figured out by now, this is really my personal pep talk. I need to replace all the we’s with I’s, but I feel better about myself if I’m not the only one getting lectured 😉The frustration I have for myself can sometimes be overwhelming because every time I think I’ve defeated that pesky fear, it shows up as procrastination, social media, Netflix binges, social media, cleaning out and organizing closets that have never bothered me until the moment I sit down to write, and social media. Man, I really need social media anonymous. Its just so easy to fall into the blackhole of pointless thought, cute dogs and funny cats. It’s like a vacation for the mind, but it can be so difficult to reign it in.

Fear masks itself in many tricky ways, but the worst is when it appears in its true form, and whispers, “you’re not good enough”.  However, this post is my reminder, that the last time I looked fear in the face for the lie it really is, I wrote my first children’s book cover to cover 13k words in 10 days. I just did it and it felt amazing.

So today, after getting into the ring with fear once again I am reminding myself of that moment, and how I squeezed my dream tight, let it go and then chased it until it was mine.  Our dreams are ours, in our hearts, on so many personal levels for so many reasons, but until we make up our minds to share it, that’s exactly where it will stay, but the moment we let go and begin to chase it, the more likely that dream will become our reality.

Keep dreaming, and just go for it!

Much Love,

Lisa J

Resolutions Undefined

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It’s that time again, time to list resolutions for the year ahead, defining a “new” start, a “new” year, a “new” you. Well, pardon me if I say, forget that noise. Don’t get me wrong, I believe setting goals and working toward them is healthy in all aspects of life, however I do not believe success or failures of your “list” should ever define you. Life has unexpected events, twists and turns, hardships and successes, and we are not given the play by play of what the next chapter will bring, so while we strive to be better every day, let us strive to accept who we are as enough.

That list, and whether or not we stop even looking at it in a week or in a few months does not define you, and is not the judge or jury on your track toward living your best life, but it can be a reminder. For me, I will be making a list of goals because I feel it’s important to visualize our dreams, but in the process I will also remind myself that this list is only a guide on the path of continuing to be the best version of me for the present moment of each day, and not a list that defines me, because while…

I will make healthier and realistic choices for me, my weight/body type, food choices and gym time do NOT define me;

I will make smarter financial decisions for me and my family, my wealth or material things do NOT define me;

I will strive to turn my “job” into my dream, my title does NOT define me; and

I will make attempts to forgive myself and those who have hurt me, my past does NOT define me.

These reminders not only allow me to see what does not define me but what does, and that is the love in my heart, the kindness I share and the peace in my soul. I am enough, and I wouldn’t trade this me for a “new” me any year, because this me is pretty darn awesome no matter where I am in the journey of this life.

You are enough, every little quirk, every scar, every smile, every choice and every piece that makes you, you. Set your goals for you, work to accomplish them for you, but always remember what truly defines you.

Reflecting on 2018, I am grateful for every lesson, fear overcome, goal reached, and connections made and look forward to each in the year to come.

Much love and happiness for the new year!

Lisa J.

Depression Takes Everything

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Some days, I look at the people around me, and those that I idolize on the internet, and I’m met with fierce jealousy and envy. I look at these people, and it appears to me, that they have everything going for them. They are making progress in their lives, while I am just stuck where I am, spinning in circles, praying for it to end. It seems that all I can do is stare at these people and wonder how they got where they are. Of course they worked really hard for it, but they were rewarded for their hard work. I work hard, very hard, at almost everything I do. I give every ounce of myself that depression doesn’t steal from me into the things that I do, and yet I never receive anything in return. It might be that depression steals these things from me before I can even realize what I have. That may be the case in my instance, as I never truly am able to appreciate what I’ve accomplished. There is so much that I want to do with my life. I want to become an accomplished writer, I want to become a video game streamer, or a YouTube star. It seems that the more I want, the less I get. Which makes sense if you think about it. The more that I am spread out, the less attention that I have to give to things I truly want. Yet, recently, I’ve wanted nothing more than just to write. My brain seems to be against this idea, as it is constantly changing the flow of ideas in my head. Some days, I can write tons of articles, stories, and everything else under the sun. Other days, I can’t squeeze a single word out of my brain. Today is one of those days, where the faucet is turned completely off. I have been trying to write for the entire day and have been barely able to write a decent paragraph.

Back to the point, I see all these people doing so much with the life that they have. They are out there doing all the things. Yet, here I am, behind a keyboard, struggling to get anything done. Depression has taken almost everything away from me. I so badly just want to get over this. I want to be able to be like everybody else. I want to be able to say that I did something more than just lay in bed all day, typing away, with nothing to show for it. I sometimes feel like the things that I want are just too far away from me. That nothing is really within my grasp. That is the secret to depression that many don’t talk about. Depression takes away your hope, your dreams and your aspirations. Depression does nothing but take. I just want to be able to say that I made it, anywhere but here. I know that I’m beginning to ramble, and probably have been rambling for some time now. I thank you for taking the time to read this heap of words that I was able to drain from my brain. Hopefully, in due time, my creativity will return, and I’ll be able to write things that I’m proud of again.

Yours

Wolfgang

Procrastination, Another Word for Fear

Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. ― George Addair

fear pic        Photo by Pixabay

Most of my life I have been plagued with anxiety, and while suffering from it has been difficult, hiding it has been much easier. On the outside I would come off as maybe a little intense or excitable, but not anxious. However, inside, I was a wreck. My mind would be racing while my heart would follow. I would feel as if there was a storm that I couldn’t control internally shifting me for reasons I couldn’t explain. On top of the emotional chaos, anxiety has a way of playing tricks on my mind, and for a very long time, I allowed it to dictate my thoughts and ultimately my actions in this adventure called life.

While there are many reasons behind my anxiety, fear is the most profound. Fear of spiders, natural heights, massive crowds, my laundry pile, gloomy weather, unfamiliar places, losing someone I love, or one that kept me from truly living for so many years, rejection.

Rejection, not meeting up to someone’s expectation, or being left out, is/was (I’m working on it) paralyzing for me. Was it a learned thought process rather than a born one, I would answer yes, aren’t most fears learned at one time or another? When did I learn it? I may tell you that it was the 2nd grade when I was completely embarrassed for blowing my nose from a cold in front of the class and they all laughed, or because I was almost six foot tall in middle school and towered over not just the girls, but the boys as well, but honestly, I’m not sure exactly when I learned it, and maybe it was a progressive compilation of many moments, but no matter how it happened, or when it happened, it scared the hell out of me.

As with my anxiety, I learned to hide this fear by pretending all was good, life was grand, and that every decision I made I made with upmost, pigheaded confidence. I would be so convincing to others that I began to convince myself. Although I never realized it then, lying to myself became the norm and along with lying as a defense mechanism for my fear, I recently learned that procrastination was a sneaky “characteristic” that not only kept me from facing that fear, but gave me the ultimate excuse. It was part of my personality, it was who I was.

I look back and I am beside myself to think of all the times procrastination either delayed a blow to the ego, avoided frightening confrontation or kept me from rejection all together. What I wasn’t seeing back then was that eventually it all caught up with me, and if I would have just dealt with the situation in the moment it wouldn’t have been so difficult later.

I’ve only recently admitted these facts about my personality to myself, because only recently have I realized how prominent I use this mechanism in my life, and only recently did it truly click why. My revelation came when I was asking for universal guidance and then questioning my own actions in the process. As I’ve said in many of my previous posts, my true path is to inspire, and my goal is to do so as an author. Funny thing is though, to be an author, you have to write a book.

I have the ideas, I have the words, I even have the outline, but for some reason I cannot get myself to start page one. In this moment, I thought about all the reasons I haven’t begun, like I’m too busy at work, I have too many obligations, I feel blocked, I need to meditate instead, I have to binge watch Netflix, it’s too nice outside, I have to prep dinners (which I absolutely never do, but it’s been an excuse), and the list goes on and on, and then suddenly the light bulb went off in my head, it finally dinged. I am terrified.

Being on a solid stretch of self-discovery and sharing my journey, and what helps me along the way has opened my eyes to who I really am, and to the lies that anxiety and fear have been telling me for so long. I am procrastinating. I am so afraid I either won’t finish, or I won’t succeed that I continue to make excuses to not takes steps toward my goal. This frustrates and angers me, but most of all, it saddens me.

In so many aspects of my life I have taken incredible leaps and bounds toward my truth, and encourage others to do the same, but for this, my ultimate dream, I’m so scared of it disappearing, I’m paralyzed at the notion of trying. Even right now, I should be writing Chapter One, but instead, I’m writing about how I’m not writing.

With these new-found revelations, I decided that it is time to take my own advice. While I’m nervous typing these words, I am consciously aware why I am standing still, and consciously aware that I need to get over it. I will write my book and I will start now.

As we walk our paths within our true selves understanding that we are here for a reason, we cannot let fear hold us back. I know this, and I now know more than ever that it is my choice to stay where I’m at or step toward my purpose. Today, I choose to take that step, I hope all who read this do too.

Much Love,

Lisa J

As a side note, when I began blogging, I was also terrified, but today, I am truly grateful for this platform as without it and without the opportunity to share my thoughts, I may still be paralyzed by fear. Thank you for allowing me to share my story and thank you for reading. ❤

Follow the Clues to Find the Light Inside

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The light. You may ask what I’m talking about, but what you may not understand just yet, is that you have the answer. The light, the spark, the fire within is something you have the means and ways of tapping into, you have the ability to not only find but let blaze your path intended for you in the world. As early as childhood you’ve been given clues, like breadcrumbs, as to how your light is defined, what incredible gift you possess, and how to share it. You know those clues that at one time may have been labeled as annoyances or stages or phases.

That time you doodled all over your notebook and failed that geometry test, the obsession with colors and paint, the music that played over and over in your head, the voice that would come out sometimes only in the shower, being compelled to help animals, people or bugs, the speech you gave that brought you to tears, the engine you took apart and put back together over and over just because, the way your heart was pulled to the outdoors in nature, or the pages and pages of quotes and stories in the hundred journals you have from family and friends.

Whatever it may be, whatever pulls you to your center, your truth, what makes time non-existent, that “thing” you do that drives you, gives you reason, makes you smile to your core is it. You may not recognize it quite yet, or you may have known since you were three years old, or you know, and you just don’t know what to do with it, but that my friends, is your light. That light is your passion, your gift, your reason and a beat so loud in your heart that you should not, you cannot, ignore it.

Still don’t know what I’m talking about? Ask yourself, ask what your passion is, and close your eyes and really listen to that quiet but strong voice, and the answer will present itself. We are all incredible humans, but our biggest issue is that we forget just how amazing we are from the inside. We hide from our truth, we push aside the possibility for the practical, we fear, and we question, and we lose the entire meaning of why we are here. We are here to share that light, that gift we all are uniquely created with.

I implore you to open your eyes, your heart and listen closely. Follow the clues down the path of what is meant to be for you, and as you walk toward your truth the more that is revealed, embrace it and share it. This is it, this is the time for you to live each moment, love every day and fill the world with kindness and compassion, do that, your way and the only way you do best. You have choices in this life, choices that are hard, easy, scary, sad, happy, choices that can change your course, but if nothing else, choose You, your truth and choose to shine the light from inside so that when you leave this earth you leave knowing you knew Love.

Much Love,
Lisa J

If it Feels Right, Keep Running

I have an exam for my psych class I need to be doing but I felt this to be just as important. It’s crazy when inspiration hits you blindly. You’re just going along in life and BAM, you feel this compelling need to do something, whether it be something as simple as clean out the closet, organize those pictures that have been sitting for years, read a good book, write a good book, start a business or go for a run.

As many of you know I am a “runner”, a lot of my friends are runners, I run trails, I run at the beach, most pictures of me online are sweaty versions of myself after a run. What you may not know is that I hate running. I would rather go to the gym for a class or sit on a spin bike for 45 minutes than run 2 miles down my street, but I am in love with the company it keeps, the outside air, and the feeling when you are done, so I continue to tie my shoes and hit the pavement, but not without some serious convincing.

Today, however, as I was brainstorming about my newest project, and feeling a little overwhelmed by what I got myself into, I felt this insanely compelling urge to go for run. This is a rare occasion, but it was such a strong feeling that as soon as I had it I grabbed my things so quickly I forgot a water. As I took my first stride, I put on my music, I picked up my head, took a deep breath and soon the chaotic thoughts began to quiet. It was freeing, it was calming, and it was just me, then BAM, the moment I allowed myself to settle into a pace, inspiration shot through me. The ideas and the reasons for everything I am doing flooded my head, in a good way. I remembered why I started this journey and I remembered why I want to share it with you. These thoughts, this inspiration, makes me want to keep reaching, keep writing and keep running.

I had a goal in mind for this run, but when I reached the turn around point, I allowed myself a breath and just kept going. Looking ahead, and listening to my body, taking a breath when I needed it, or running faster when I felt strong, I accomplished that extra mile and much quicker than I have in a very long time.  The urge to run today felt right, I was compelled to tie my shoes, and because I didn’t stop to think about what all I had to do, or convince myself I was too tired, I ran, and people, it was amazing.

Life is screaming at you to live it, so when you are compelled to step out into it, don’t look down, listen to your voice, gauge your pace, take a breath when necessary, and sprint when your strong. When it feels right, keep running.

Much Love,

Lisa

keep running

Bruno Nascimento

The Long Road to Betterment

As human beings, regardless of our backgrounds, we’ve become conditioned to evaluate our success in life based on the monetary value of our material possessions. The impact of this trending train of thought has become detrimental to our society, and is especially toxic for those of us who already struggle to find our sense of selves, our true value.

This shift in humanity, in my opinion, grew exponentially with the rise of the technological era. While it’s existed within us for several generations, it’s much more prominent in the last few. And while recently there has been a small faction bringing minimalist living to light, currently more than ever we have become obsessed with the idea of owning the best and newest things.

This has been a difficult post to write because of my own current struggles on the topic. Where is the line between valuing possessions over what really matters, and yearning for a sense of security you’ve never known? There’s obviously financial security in the way of assets, and then there’s having a stable life. Who’s to say when we’ve taken it too far, and how do we separate the wants from the true needs?

I was raised as a welfare baby, my mom on social security, section 8, food stamps, and I’ve had government provided health insurance for my entire life. My mom still survives on the programs, and now I’m raising my daughter on food stamps and free health care as well. It’s not a choice, because while my husband works, it’s not enough, and I can’t bring in enough money with my disabilities to make the pain they’d cause worth the while.

I’m sure my mother wasn’t proud to need all that assistance to raise me, and I’m certainly not proud either. We recently began trying to apply for home loans, as we’ve both lived under mostly slum lords for our entire lives and we want better for our daughter. Long and painfully disappointing story short, we got denied this week and it broke me.

This switch has gone off inside of me, making me feel guilt, inferiority, and judgment towards myself. I swore I’d never raise my child on welfare, but this was before I knew of my physical restraints. Despite my lack on control in the matter, there’s a certain self resentment that comes with that, a sense of worthlessness. I thought I’d found the perfect home for us, actually allowed myself to get excited for once, and now someone else’s family will fill the home.

It’s been an incredibly trying week, with tensions always escalating and tensions always rising due to our current crappy living situation, and I haven’t felt this defeated in a really long time. Especially for those of us with mental illness, stability is incredibly imperative to our success, and it’s my firm belief that if I can finally achieve stability, maybe I can finally begin my journey to betterment.

What I thought was one step closer turned out to be two steps back, but I must still press on. I have to believe that there’s more left in life for me than just the current chapter, that the book will have at least a relatively halpy ending. Here’s to everyone else who’s had a disappointing week or felt broken by something outside of your control. Life gave us lemons, so I guess we’re making lemonade, no matter how sweet or sour it tastes.

Retrospective

There are times I find that it’s hard for me to accept how things have turned out in life, being 27 and unable to work due to chronic illnesses such as scoliosis and rheumatoid arthritis, to keep it short, has had a huge impact on who I am as a person. This definitely isn’t the life I envisioned for myself, and sometimes, like most, I feel a little sorry for myself. Before my disabilities took hold, before my daughter, my husband and I were in a relatively successful local band, and before becoming a mother, music was the only thing in life that I always knew was meant to be.

Once you’ve been within reach of your dreams and gotten a taste of what that feels like, it’s incredibly difficult when lost. At one point, I actually allowed myself to believe that all my wildest dreams could come true, that I would get every little thing I deserved for putting everything I have into being the best person that I can be. Once those thoughts take hold, everything else goes unnoticed, including the first signs that what you thought was wild success, may in fact turn into a complete and utter failure of a situation.

It took years for me to get the courage to perform on stage as a lead singer, I mean after all, my only experience had been singing in choir, and singing in the car and shower. But once I let myself show the world my talent, I never wanted it to stop – I wanted to show everyone, not just those who doubted me or worked against me, but to show people who struggle to find the self-esteem and strength to follow their dreams that it could be done, by a nobody nonetheless.

While the band has been dead for a few years now, I still haven’t finished grieving, and while I haven’t completely given up on the dream, the more time passes, it becomes increasingly difficult to manifest any sort of true motivation to pursue it anymore. As sad as that is, it’s a product of my ever persistent lack of confidence, despite the fact that I proved to myself that I’m definitely not lacking the talent to make it happen. Instead, I hate my body and pity myself and find it hard to open up about it, but it’s not something that anyone I know can truly understand.

I never knew until recently just how detrimental a role physical pain can play on your mental state, but it has eaten away so much from who I am, who I know I’m meant to be, and everything I wanted to accomplish in my life, that I completely resent myself and feel weakened not only physically, but spiritually as well. To some people, hobbies are silly and insignificant, and while music has always been so much more than that, I’ve got to allow this transition to take place and find some way to feed my creativity without relishing in the fact that I’ll may not ever be able to share it with the world in the way I always dreamed.

I’m not giving up, but it’s time to switch gears.

5 Ways to Keep Shining Your Light When the Odds are Against You

There is no light at the end of the tunnel. You are the light. And nothing in your dreams will get easier. But if you keep going, you will get stronger than ANYTHING putting you down.

What dims your light? Is it not being supported by friends, family, or loved ones? Or is it taking two steps toward your dreams, only to be pushed ten steps back? When the odds stack up against you, do you keep pushing back or do you allow the metaphorical water to rise above your head and carry you away?

I get swept away daily, like a piece of timber caught up in a torrent. But with each storm, I’ve started to create my own sunshine; and it has made a world’s difference. It can for you, too.

  1. “Right now, it’s like this” – I first heard these words at a Wanderlustyoga event led by the mesmerizing Chelsey Korus. We were in a challenging pose, our muscles burning and screaming out in protest. And in the middle of stifled breaths and pissed off egos, she gently said – right now, it’s like this. This moment and this struggle feels crippling now, like you can’t go on, like you are fighting a ghost. Own the matter of fact that is this moment, because you cannot change it. And the longer you fight it to become something else, the more it will kick you down; until you learn that, right now, it’s like this. But it won’t always be. The pain and challenge and darkness will shift, change, and manifest into something else to show you that nothing is permanent, and you are far stronger than you think.
  2. Become your own advocate – Support will come in many ways: a hug, a handshake, a pat on the back, a gentle “I’m proud of you.” Until it runs out. Until your great feats are left waiting by the door with no one to notice. In these moments, it’s easy to discard our gifts and talents, and simply fall in line with mundane living and thinking. Don’t. Become your biggest supporter and your loudest cheerleader. Shine your light, even if you’re standing in the dark alone; because your purpose does not grow in the hands of the few who approve it or push it aside. It’s a part of you. Own it.
  3. Fake it ’till you make it – Negative thoughts will come after you like a rabid dog; that’s a fact. Some days, standing in your truth and moving toward your dreams will feel like a crippled crawl, and all you’ll want to do is quit. There is no secret affirmation or practice that will erase the negativity that stands behind every courageous push. That’s not how it works. You’ll feel like throwing in the towel more times than you can count, and believe me – the guilt behind those defeating thoughts is nauseating. Keep going. Through every punch and hit, grit your teeth and push on. Through the tears and the fear, slap on a smile and say – you hit like a bitch. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. You are the light. And nothing in your dreams will get easier. But if you keep going, you will get stronger than ANYTHING putting you down.
  4. Ten steps back is a chance to rest and go again – We keep expecting this hill of ours to end, until we hit a plateau and it’s a breezy walk to the finish. But I’ve learned that anything that gives us a purpose in life will be the hardest challenge we’ve yet to face. Thankfully, it will also be the worthiest challenge. Comedian Kevin Hart repeats this mantra before every show – everyone wants to be famous, but no one wants to put the work in. Whether or not you want to be famous or pleasantly known, you want something. In order to get it and keep having it in your life as a drive forward, you have to keep taking steps up. And when that challenge rears its head and knocks you down a peg, as it will, you have the option of quitting or pausing. In those moments of pause is where you have the gift of gaining perspective, inspiration, and re-focus of what you’re after. Take it. And then get up and continue, renewed.
  5. Remember why you started – Your light is what guides you to your Highest Good. It won’t be easy, it won’t be short, and it won’t be linear. But you started your journey for a reason, and you keep coming back to it, even when you’re worn, beat down, and alone. As you walk your path, remember why you started in the first place. Allow the purity of it to become your strength and courage, and repeat it to yourself when the darkness closes in or the steps become too steep. Push back against the negativity that looms overhead, with every intention and bough of faith; because this is your light, and you’re shining it like a star!

I’ve been on my path of writing and sharing my story for years. Some days, I want to burn every page I ever wrote in my journal. I believe in the odds stacked up against me because I believe I can overcome them. They are not my end – they’re simply my reminder. I am here to shine my light, in the cold and in the dark. And so are you.

Keep going.

 

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Memories and Dreams

I dream a lot. In fact, I dream almost every time I sleep.

I also sleep a lot.

Sleeping used to be the way for me to escape the awfulness of being alive, back during the darkest days of my depression. As my illness mutated and changed and I found medications to keep me balanced, the sleep followed me. I sleep at night, without difficulty. I sleep when I’m not at work. I sleep during the day, often for hours at a time. I take naps, snooze, drift off … you get the picture.

And when I sleep, the dreams come. They aren’t bad dreams; nor are they particularly good. In fact, most of my dreams involve mundane, everyday things, like brushing my teeth or driving to work. I can even remember some of them, long after the initial grogginess of waking has left me.

I am also—sometimes—aware that I’m dreaming of the dream. Not necessarily to the extent that I think to myself, “what an interesting dream”, but because the continuity of my dreams fluctuates, and when it morphs from one location to another, and one scenario to another, a part of my mind that keeps track shouts out, “this isn’t where we were just a moment ago!”

But the clarity of the dreams is, as usual, somewhat opaque. Through a fog of distance and sleep, they return to my waking mind as a faint memory of an event that may or may not have taken place. I think most dreams are this way.

But for me—perhaps because of my illness or the medications, or just because of my own perception—this becomes a difficult thing in my head. You see, I often find that I can’t distinguish between the memory of a real event and the memory of a dreaded event. When the event is terribly fantastical and otherworldly, yes—it’s easier. But since so many of my dreams involve things I actually do every day, I find I can’t recall if I actually did something or not.

This is apparently more common than I realized, but when I suggest to my wife that I definitely turned the heat down before going to bed, yet in the morning it’s still on 70°, it’s still disorienting. She appears not to suffer from this problem; nor does anyone I talk to about it.

Dreams, of course, are experiential, just as are actual events—we generally believe they are happening when we’re dreaming—but upon waking, they usually disappear rapidly, or are relegated to a memory state separate from reality. For example, I can recall a memory from very early childhood: taking a bite of a hotdog. And I remember that it was, in fact, a dream, because I remember waking up and thinking that it was funny how in my head only a moment had passed, when in the world outside the whole night had come and gone.

But I also remember images and events—great castles in the fog, ski accidents, conversations with friends—that I have no basis for comparison. These are all things that definitely might have happened because in the past I’ve seen or done all those things. Yet I can’t be certain because I so frequently dream of those things as well.

It’s disturbing to see someone at work, or in your own home, and remember some bit of knowledge about them—only to find that you don’t actually know it because you’ve never actually discussed it.

It’s equally disturbing to think you’ve driven your wife to work and returned home, only to wake up in bed. And when memories of dreams begin to intersect with memories of reality, it brings the whole nature of reality into question. What’s real? What isn’t? And what, if anything, can be trusted?

I don’t know if this is an aspect of mental illness or something that everyone experiences, but it’s disturbing nonetheless, and something I wish I had a better grasp on.

What are your thoughts? Do you remember dreams as dreams, or do you also sometimes confuse them with memories of actual events?