Safe Space

She often contemplates

Of a distant life

One without strife

Curious of where she hide

When all is chaotic inside

She fears her safe space mimicks pandora’s box

It lies hidden beneath her surface

Unlike a treasure chest

Not meant to be discovered

For this space holds secrets

Most of which permeate

And she, unaware

Emerging,

Protected,

without a care

Not daring to question

who’s secrets live there

She abandons that space

A place

Within her, she fears

One of mystery

of forgotten years

She gazes beyond it’s contents

With aspirations of inner peace

Never to unleash

The savage beast

It’s Time I Fly

Persistent I focus on growth,

you cannot help but complain.

Much of my life, it’s been the same.

Never enough

Or the wrong time,

Too much,

too soon.

You find the most inopportune moments as if you are searching for a clue.

Mysteriously problems arise,

My fault, in your eyes.

Chastise me as your child,

In which I am.

Except I am grown.

Stifling my creativity

learning

it’s my time to go.

No pointing fingers but is it because of you my inner child refuses to grow?

Pushing her down to size with every no.

There’s this fire pleading from inside.

Tired of being shoved,

made to hide.

Grappling with confusion

your love is no illusion,

yet toxic,

chaining me to who I long to un-become.

It isn’t my will to be done.

Stepping out of my own way,

I am being shown the sun.

All the possibilities frighten any notion of me not by your side.

I deserve a sense of pride.

It’s time you let me off this ride.

Mom,

please set me free so I can learn to be me.

You accomplished fixing me the most you could.

But the time has come,

As I knew it would.

And now I go

with one foot in front of the other,

discovering myself

on this long, desolate road.

You did your best and it has come time

I do the rest.

Guided by your wisdom,

I must leave the nest.

Hurricane

Her walk some consider a flaunt

Posture like that of a ballerina

A look of confidence masks her truth

Up close you will see the tremble of her hands

If you dare look her in the eye,

intensity becomes visual

Unpenetrable wall hides her pain

Her soul broken in innocence

Shame,

Her life sentence

From the inside, she cries

Suited up in armor to face each day

Baring weight

Is a life of struggle her fate?

An internal debate

Wrapped in a nice package

disguising her lethal contents

A fuse only she can extinguish
Carving a path for herself
Shredding what is in the way
Like a hurricane
Labeled insane
They have no insight into the insurmountable pain
She hears the chatter and soon realizes, it doesn’t matter
For it is her who controls her destiny
Accepting nothing less than wholeness
She brave the stillness
Silence sheds light on a continuous fight

Meant to Be

For his attention

She fight

Without his approval

Her dreams would not catch flight

Self-sabotaging rendered her insane

Poison flowed through her veins

Risking a life she could not love

Losing faith of anyone above

A father who belittled his daughter

Confusing her was the pain

She sought in others a fragile love

The one missing from within

Disposing of men

Forbidden sin

He set an example forever ingrained

Love equals pain

The rejection of his affection left her exposed

Substance she snorts up her nose

Numbing the pain

Heartbreak upon heartbreak she gain

A constant battle with her brain

A destiny to heal her heart

Finding herself falling apart

She doesn’t know where to start

Forgiveness is key

In being set free

And unlocking who she is meant to be

No More

Like a cyclone

Words open up my world.

Allowing me to give insight, to my inner plight.

Presumably guilty of passion. Lust isn’t my fashion.

Nor is Love.

A hardened heart. Calloused and scarred.

Complicated and hard.

Barriers built to protect from a love not had,

Yet.

Self-love a gift.

Hell, I wouldn’t know, the shoe didn’t fit.

Myself.

Daddy’s girl, I never was.

Temperament and face like his.

No-nonsense, strictly biz.

Ingrained inadequate,

before starting, give up and quit.

Emotional baggage dragging me around.

Hands tied and bound.

No peep, no sound.

That is until I found my crown,

placed sideways upon my head.

To be seen and not heard,

a great tragedy for some.

My story is sure to help one.

Days of poisoning myself are past,

learning of a love that lasts.

My confidence once shattered

from one that no longer matter.

Imprisoned no more,

myself I adore.