Bella’s Babbles: Pieces of Art


IMG_1389It dawned on me today as I was looking at pictures in my phone, that we are pieces of art in process of being made into masterpieces.

Yup, that’s it, simply put, we are being made into pieces of beauty through all that we are going through, by what we go through, one day at a time.

I was looking at pictures I sent to a friend of a dream catcher that I was creating.  I sent her pictures of the work in progress.  The first few pictures, goodness I was so incredibly proud of when I first sent them, I was so excited to have started on the project and to have started making progress and to see my idea come to fruition.  However, now that I look back at my meager beginnings, I turn my nose up in disgust and when I look at what I had created I think that is, well, kind of ugly, juvenile, not attractive, blah!

IMG_1399I forget the pride that I felt, the excitement that was filling my bones, the peace and comfort that filled me sitting in my craft room, being in my element, in my special space, listening to classical and meditation music and wrapped in the aroma of my cactus blossom Bath and Body Works candle.  How relaxing the atmosphere was and how wonderful it was to be in my very special place.

When I look at the finished product, I am thrilled with what I created.  I beam with pride; I get excitement that launches down to my toes and circles back up to the top of my head.  I see what was a hoop, some yarn, a few feathers and miscellaneous beads and what I transformed these odd pieces into.  I see what an hour of concentrated time and creatively charged energy created and I feel like a Care Bear beaming from my belly.

In no way is my crafting going to end up in an art show or a museum or make it somewhere other than my family’s walls of their homes, but I am proud of what I can create.  And the outlet that I have to express what lies within me, what I can release.

Much like in life, sometimes we look back at the beginning and we don’t like where we started, and we think it’s just yuck.  We can feel embarrassed and wish that we had a different start.  But when we see the finished product, we realize that had we not had the start that we did (that ugly start, the one that we did not like) we wouldn’t have the finished product that we are so in love with and fills us with such pride.

Sprinkles and Cupcakes,


Bella’s Babbles: Sunday Edition

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I’ve been up since 430 AM, it’s the new witching hour for me.  Even my cats look at me like I have lost my mind.  Sure they are ecstatic that someone is up and willing to give them more food, but after 15 minutes or so, the fan fare has worn off and they wander away and I am left alone.

But now, yes there is a but, I have a fancy dancy, office/craft room, that I can retreat to, that is cozy and welcoming, and it is the perfect balance of organized chaos that makes me feel perfectly at home.  Plus, it is ultimately welcoming at 430 AM.

Today’s plan WAS to try and go back to bed on the couch, but much to my surprise there was a child already on the couch, so then I figured it was divine intervention that I would stay awake.  Plus there were things to tell my mama who lives back east and art projects to finish.  Plus I had a sneaky suspicion that a friend of mine would also be up and I would be able to chat with her for a bit as well.

So, that’s exactly what happened.  Coffee was made, art projects were finished.  Friends and Mama’s were talked to.  Orders were placed for give back projects for Non-Profit Organizations and cats wandered away and put themselves back to bed.


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Yesterday my family saw a movie.  Some superhero, spiders, webs, swinging from buildings movie.  I chose to stay home.  I am not a movie person, and especially not a movie theater person person.  Too loud, too many people, when was the last time they wiped down the seats wondering type of person.  So I moseyed off to Michaels and I found that they were having a sale on the quality canvases, buy one, get TWO free, and I was like hot damn skippy with a macaroni in my cap, yankee doodle spank my mama on her hat.  I was thrilled.  I purchased three assorted sizes and I came home to start my project.  It would be a combination of a rendition of Starry Night by Van Gogh with paper butterflies glued in to make it a 3D multimedia piece.  It came to me, like a light bolt out of the sky, while I was drinking coffee earlier that morning and I HAD to create it.  This would probably be one of my more challenging pieces, but it was so clear in my head as to how it would turn out, I had to try.  I was intimidated and I was scared.

I lit my Cactus Blossom Candle, I played my classical studying music (Debussy being my favorite, love those deep minor chords, they have always taken me to my most creative places), and I started.  I had my Starry Night print in front of me for inspiration and I went one stroke at a time.

Hours passed.  And with each brush stroke I gave myself permission to let little pieces of the anxiety that has been crippling me go.  I let the music soothe my heart, my soul, my body and my mind.  I allowed my body and mind to be present.  I allowed me to take in being in my new craft room and soaking in the gift that was the craft room and how much love was given to me in this very room.  A room that was given to me so I could heal through me art.

Before I knew it, I was done.  And I wept.  I looked down at my piece and I was thrilled with the product, the creation, the dare I say, the masterpiece that I had created.  It was exactly, identical, to what I had seen in my mind, and I had created it onto canvas using several types of media.  The tears were of happiness, of joy, relief, of sadness.  Hope for the future.

This weekend I needed to spend time resting.  Those were doctor orders.  I have another busy week ahead of me, many doctor appointments, a busy work week, family obligations.  But, my soul, my soul, it is well, it is well with me soul.

Cupcakes with Sprinkles,


Write for You

Creating is an outlet for emotions unspoken, passion untapped, or stories untold.


Why do I write? Why do I spend countless hours spinning words and sentences into paragraphs attempting to make sense of whatever moment or idea has struck me that day? Why is it so important for me to express myself in a way I have never been able to do out loud to others or even to myself? Why is it when I unleash the pages of my truth do I feel fifty pounds lighter and as if I can conquer the world?

You ask any writer, musician, poet or artist for that matter why they do what they do, you will find that although each individual answer may sound different at the jump, as you peel back the layers, the foundation is usually the same. Creating is an outlet for emotions unspoken, passion untapped, or stories untold. It is a path to express oneself in a way that some may not be able to otherwise. Whether the reason stems from challenges to heartache or from excitement to success, the art of expressing oneself, in whatever manner it may be, is therapy for the soul.

For me, I write for me, it helps me to discover the truth about who I am and why I am here. I write words that sometimes are difficult to spell out and even more difficult to read; I write from a place that only I know is there until that moment my fingers dance across the keyboard; I write because the more I do, the more free I feel; and, I write for you, because even if it’s just one twisted tale or deep emotion shared, and a connection made, it is one less person believing they are alone in this journey of life.

There is no doubt I, along with my writing, has matured and shifted over the years, and while practice has helped, it is not where I place all the credit. In my growing up as a person and as a writer, I have found that the words are stronger and the meaning behind them deeper when they are honest, raw and real. I have learned this honesty by facing fears I didn’t even realize I had, extinguishing lies I have been telling myself, taking responsibility not for those around me, but for myself, and learning patience not just with others, but with me, and I have also found the more words I put out into the world (much like love, laughter, and kindness), the more I get back.

For me, writing is cleansing, challenging and can take me to places inside my head and my heart I never thought I would go, but has helped me carve my path to the real truth that lies within. Whatever your reason for creating, in whatever form that fits you best, do it for you. Write for you, paint for you, sing for you, and do it with raw honesty, that type of honesty that can be more difficult for you to admit than it is for people to hear. The fact is, the more honest you are with yourself, the more those around you will connect with your truth and the more you will realize you are not alone.

Much Love,

Lisa J

Changes on The Bipolar Writer Blog

Change is good.

Tomorrow, October 31, 2018, I will be giving my collaborative blog some much-needed changes to the overall design, look, and feel of the blog. As this blog has evolved from a blog about James, The Bipolar Writer, to a collaborative mental health blog that has become a safe haven for writers with a mental illness. It is time that I do some changes (hopefully if everything goes right) by November 1st, there will be a new looking blog. As for blog posts, this will be the last one until the relaunch on November 1st.

All collaborators can continue to write posts, and they will be scheduled after the relaunch date. Thank you for bearing with me tomorrow as you might see weird changes here on the blog.

Always Keep Fighting


Photo Credit: Peder Cho

The Creative Connection – Part 2

I wanted to share today part two of what will become a series here on The Bipolar Writer. In this series, I make connections with famous creative members of society that may have, did suffer, or are suffering and living with a mental illness. You can find part one here: The Creative Connection – Part One

Today I will highlight three authors.

The Creative Connection Part Two

H.P. Lovecraft

lovecraft_530x@2xH.P. Lovecraft is known for his influential work in the horror genre, and we that have a love for the horror genre will always remember for his brilliant writing. I know personally, I will never forget the work he contributed to the world

Lovecraft also struggled internally and externally with mental illness over the course of his life. Lovecraft suffered from night terrors and a traumatic sleep disorder but is also known that he suffered from severe depression as well. What is also known is that Lovecraft suffered from suicidal ideations and was suicidal from time to time. Lovecraft is another connection to writing brilliance mixed in with mental illness.

Jack Kerouac

quote-because-in-the-end-you-won-t-remember-the-time-you-spent-working-in-the-office-or-mowing-jack-kerouac-61-1-0120Known for his work On The Road, Jack Kerouac was discharged from the military for having schizophrenic type symptoms though he was never actually diagnosed. Kerouac dealt with severe depression in his life, but it did not keep him from writing a great American Novel. Kerouac is another excellent example of the connection between creativity and mental illness.

Stephen King

Stephen-King-Famous-Writers-With-Depression-RM-pg-full.jpgIf you love the horror genre of books, then you will know the famous Stephen King– known for being the master at writing horror books, the acclaimed author is known to have written some of his best works while dealing with depression.

I personally have read so many of King’s great novels, and he is one of the authors that influenced my love for books as a kid (yes, I read many of his books before I was ten.) So it was interesting for me to see how someone to creative could write some of his best work when he was depressed. It makes me feel less alone.

Final Thoughts

I am digging deeper into this story, and I plan on expanding this series into more modern writers and those writers from history. A real connection exists with creativity and mental illness, and I would like to highlight this in the coming months.

Always Keep Fighting (AKF)


Photos taken from

Find Your Tribe

“Surround yourself with the dreamers, and the doers, the believers, and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” -Edmund Lee

My favorite thing about writing this time around is not trying to figure out what to write about, but it is deciding which idea out of the endless ideas I have scribbled down speaks to me that day. The difference is absolutely stemmed from me, but I also give a massive amount of credit to those who surround me. I am constantly inspired, supported and loved, and because of that, my creative soul is nourished, and my fears are calmed. The day I chose to go out and seek my tribe was the day my life was altered. When I chose to open myself up to new experiences and new people, and trust the positive energy I encountered, my path, my life and my purpose shifted.

Before I embarked on my journey to find happy, I was closed off, unsure how people would see me, judge me or if they would even understand me. I was afraid to trust, and because I barely knew myself, I was afraid to allow myself to be known. It took time, change of perspective, change of heart and a new way of thinking, but for the first time in my life, I can truly show those around me who I am, the real me, the me that I’m finally able to be, and in turn be the partner, mother, daughter, sister, niece, cousin and friend I’ve longed to be, without fear and without walls. I choose to surround myself with those who are like-minded, like-spirited and encourage and embody love. Most importantly I surround myself with those who love me, flaws and all, unconditionally. I am becoming who I am meant to be because I have found my tribe, my soul nourishing “spiritual” tribe, and my heart is always full because this tribe that allows me to find me, just continues to grow.

When you surround yourself with people who see you, really see you, for everything you are, without restraint or judgment, you find a light inside yourself you may never have allowed yourself to see before. When you have people to laugh with, cry with, share ideas with, run with, veg with, collaborate with and share your honest life with, conquering the world seems more possible than ever. When supported and guided by those who see you for you, the person behind the shy, insecure, shameful, sad and unhappy person you used to be, shines bright to show the world the beautiful, kind, talented, fun, loving confident human you are meant to be.

Find your tribe. Seek out those who cheer your successes, teach you that your failures are just lessons towards greatness, love you through the hard times, and are a big part of the great times. Surround yourself with those who see you for every part of you, every crack, every smile, every insecurity, every crazy idea, and love you still. Share your life with those who lift you up, feed your soul and embody the spirit of who you are, and who you strive to be.

Much Love,


Photo Credit: unsplash-logoPerry Grone

Happy International Left-Hander’s Day!

A whole day just for left-handed people? That is something that I can get behind!

This is not the usual thing that you see on The Bipolar Writer blog, but it is the first time since starting this blog that I can celebrate my left-handedness with the world. At times, I complain about being left-handed. This comes from years as a kid always having to go classroom to classroom in search of left-ha nded scissors (seriously why don’t they make ambidextrous scissors a regular thing?)

To be honest, I do love being left-handed. People tend to notice that first as I do almost everything with my left (except for wearing my watch with for some odd reason I wear on my right wrist.) It makes me a little unique. I love to meet left-handed people thought that has been surprisingly rare lately. My favorite baseball player, #22 Clayton  Kershaw who pitches tonight against the rival Giants, is a lefty.

It got me thinking while writing this post. How many of my mental illness community bloggers are lefties?

I’d love to know if you think being left-handed makes you more apt to be creative. Some experts believe that us caleb-lucas-538166-unsplashlefties are right brain dominant (the creative side) so much that we are very good at creative works. The downside of being a lefty for me is that I am incredibly clumsy.

It would be interesting to know, so if like me you’re a lefty, sound off!!!

Share your lefty experiences. If you a righty, tell an odd story about a lefty.

Happy International Left-handers day!

Always Keep Fighting


Photo Credit:

Caleb Lucas