I have never been hospitalized before. I think that I am pretty good at hiding things, but I couldn’t hide this from myself. I knew there was something wrong. I wasn’t sleeping more than a couple hours, I was becoming emotionally abusive, and I was falling back into overspending. Mania. This isn’t the first time… Continue reading My First Time.
Yesterday, I received my very first pair of glasses. I didn’t realize how blind I was. I now see everything so differently. So crisp. So clear. It’s insane. I had no idea that I wasn’t seeing things clearly. And it reminded me of myself when I realized something was wrong with my brain. I have… Continue reading Now I See
When I was young, and I could not face the world, I would go to my room and I would hide beneath my blanket, sitting on my floor, with my blanket pulled over my head. In my head, no one could see me, I was safe, and I was in my own world, numb to… Continue reading Babbles: Blanket Monsters
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness month. While it’s great there’s a month dedicated to this, it should be 365-day year awareness. I understand suicide can be a touchy subject especially for those who have struggled with it themselves or have lost a loved one to it. I wanted to share my personal story with suicide… Continue reading September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month
Where I live, we have storms called Monsoons. There are mainly dust storms, but sometimes are accompanied with rain, and massive wind. What makes them unique is the fact that it can be bright and sunny in one part of the sky, pitch dark in another place, torrential down pour of rain in one area… Continue reading Babbles: Monsoons and Moodswings
Right now I’m at a period of my life where I’ve been focusing more and more on my own inner work & personal development. It’s something I neglected and put off for far too long. I held the belief that if I pushed away the painful memories & experiences I could forget about them forever.… Continue reading A Special Thank You to my Friends & Family
I’ve learned that when I find myself in stressful situations is when my depressive episodes start to surface again. It’s why I’ve added exercise and meditation into my routine because it does help eliminate the stress and lifts that weight off of your shoulders.
Friday has come and gone. And there was not a babble that was recorded due a mental day off that was in place. I did much of nothing on Friday. Had breakfast, saw my family on their way to work and school and then took a much-needed restorative nap. Upon waking, I headed out and… Continue reading Bella’s Babbles: Sunday Edition 5/12/19
The sitting. But then there’s the movement. And how can I not mention the mental buzzing. There’s the lethargy, and exhaustion, but at the same time a desire to run, to run like the wind and to not stop until your legs give out and you topple over, face planting onto the hot, dirty pavement.… Continue reading Fluttering Manic Butterflies
This is a new rendition of a poem I wrote on my blog. The Silent Sands of Illness Spheres be fed the blackened beast, For long to fill his gluttonous feast. Not life itself could escape it’s grasp. For death to all the plague they clasp. Yet random the beast, it toyed it’s prey, Amused… Continue reading The Silent Sands of Illness