I have never been hospitalized before. I think that I am pretty good at hiding things, but I couldn’t hide this from myself. I knew there was something wrong. I wasn’t sleeping more than a couple hours, I was becoming emotionally abusive, and I was falling back into overspending. Mania. This isn’t the first time… Continue reading My First Time.
It may sound cliche, but it is excellent to put positive vibes out in the world. When I send out positive vibes, things really come to you. I know I have experienced it so much lately. When you pursue the “wants” in life, you will always “need” more, and your cup will never be filled. It is not worth it, I am telling you, my friends.
Please know that the following is me writing something when this discovery hit me. I plan to write about my thoughts on my manic journal on another post tomorrow. No clever titles today. I am manic. I might start to ramble. I am trying not to, but you know how that can be. I started… Continue reading Mania.
**This post discusses the use of marijuana. Please do not read if you are triggered by discussions about drug use. I am not a medical professional and the below information should not replace treatment by a licensed health care provider. I also live in a state (Arizona) that has legalized medicinal marijuana. I am a… Continue reading Pot.
This is a two part post: The next part is scheduled to be posted tomorrow. I want to start off by saying that I voluntarily see my psych doc weekly because I need a lot of accountability regarding my medication. It is a personal choice and in no way does it reflect my dedication to… Continue reading Clarity.
If you have followed along, you would know that I have had some pretty big gaps in medication management. Whether it be from my own failure to comply, medications that didn’t work, or just a hard time finding a doctor that stuck; it has sucked. I had been seeing a doctor since I got back… Continue reading Bringing Color Back.
Broken and aloneChilled to the boneConfused, spinningFrom the chorus in my home‘You’re not enoughYou’re not enoughYou can’t do it on your own’ I concedeI give inOkay, I’ll listenI must admitI’ve come to love The way the cold blade glistens But when I close my eyes to goAmong those who Took fate by the throatSomething whispersSoft… Continue reading My Demon Said To Me
Recently, I have been waking up every morning and thinking, “Another day. Ho hum. Just another day,” while feelings of melancholy fill my heart and ache my soul. Although writing this reminds me that it is not just another day. It is more than another day and I am blessed to be in this day,… Continue reading Living With Mental Illness is Like Swimming With A Great White Shark Lurking Nearby
Mental illness is a bitch that leaves an unwelcome itch I cant scratch away. Believe me. I’ve tried all day. Can’t remove this crud that entered like mud after Hurricane Fred entered inside my head and very soon spread, multiplied and bled throughout my insides. Been swept away by the tides of depression and anxiety,… Continue reading An Unwelcome Itch – a poem
With the news of James’ mom’s recent passing, I find myself reflecting on my own parent/child relationship. How lucky am I to have her, and how much I feel for James. Please consider donating here to his family’s gofundme to help with expenses. I know that this place that he has created has helped me… Continue reading My mother.