I wanted to share this post and my latest episode of The Bipolar Writer Podcast. I will let the episode speak for itself, but I am dealing with a dark part of my life.
In this post I’m not going to get into any depth of what’s going on in America. This is how the events of this past week have effected my mental health. Please don’t leave any hateful comments. Keep this space safe and beautiful! These past few days have been weighing very heavy on my heart.… Continue reading Being Gentle with Myself
And such indescribable and sublime loneliness. I wanted to protect you from fate. The fate that carries you away further and further… Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind. Sending you angel love and blessings. Love, Francesca.
I will be vague about the event in the sense that I will share an event that was troubling me a lot because of the negative feelings I was associating with this person. It was my feelings that were driving a wedge between myself and this person. What did detaching myself from the situation do for me? It gave me a chance to shift my perspective.
I have never been hospitalized before. I think that I am pretty good at hiding things, but I couldn’t hide this from myself. I knew there was something wrong. I wasn’t sleeping more than a couple hours, I was becoming emotionally abusive, and I was falling back into overspending. Mania. This isn’t the first time… Continue reading My First Time.
Something I learned this week was a great metaphor. It involved rocks, and it was an idea that Kim came up with, and it was my action for my week ahead. The basis is the idea that rock represents all the doubts and the past lying on the ground. The point for me to address the rocks in the backpack. I can go two ways. I can pick up the rock and look at it and move on. Or I can continue to add the weight until it overwhelms me as it did just a month ago.
I am relearning everything. How to live with loss and not hide from it as I have been for close to eight months. In fact, this post happens to land on what would have been my mom’s birthday. I realize that my life has been all about planning, but the actual doing is not something that I am fully committed to, especially when it comes to staying in the present. I recently got fantastic equipment to do video blogs and connect with clients, but it is still a struggle.
Stressing yourself out will only end badly. There was some positive to yesterday’s excursion into the social media world. I saw some fantastic food that people are cooking. For me, I will be focused on school and writing for the rest of the week, staying away from the temptation to continue to stress myself out. Stay safe out there in this crazy world of isolation.
I am not an outwardly emotional person. Behind closed doors, I spill it all. If you asked my mom or friends, they would never describe me as boy crazy. I had plenty of crushes but I just am very mindful of how I present myself. I think this is why, when I get into the… Continue reading Exploding With Emotion.
Eventually, I got out of bed and was somewhat productive. I got up. I took a shower and tried to eat. I will admit it was all junk food, but it helped get me moving. I met with my client, did my three hours of interview time, and it helped me to at least find a silver lining when depression was all I had going that day.