I am not an outwardly emotional person. Behind closed doors, I spill it all. If you asked my mom or friends, they would never describe me as boy crazy. I had plenty of crushes but I just am very mindful of how I present myself. I think this is why, when I get into the… Continue reading Exploding With Emotion.
I once read that a good strategy in dealing with bipolar is to recognize what is an episode and what is just a run of the mill bad day. When I find myself feeling “moody” I make a list of things that are pissing me off. I look over it and try to determine… Continue reading The List.
More and more people tell me to do what makes me happy. Writing makes me happy. Whether I’m writing a poem, a short story, a novel, or blog journal post; writing makes me happy. Lately it doesn’t feel like anything else makes me happy. Nothing really. Sometimes coworkers make work fun but it’s not something… Continue reading The One Thing That Keeps Me Going
Why is it so easy to believe the negativity anxiety pours into my mind? At the moment, my anxiety has taken the form of a dark storm cloud in my mind that is off in the distance. Each day getting closer and closer, like waiting for an impending doom. I stare out into this imaginary… Continue reading Anxiety’s Lies
Seeing a friendship that was once vibrant with life and laughter die in front of your eyes can be a sad sight. As it takes its final breath, I have to remind myself that it could not be saved. This friend tried to control me and when I did not do as she demanded, she… Continue reading When I Was Not Enough: Death of A Friendship
“I be high, then I be low.”-Kid Kudi But seriously, this is how my life used to be. Before I sought out help to maintain my moods and take control of my life, I was constantly told that this is a normal reaction to things that happen in life. I believed that for so long… Continue reading Whelmed.
In the late fall of 2016 I was at my lowest point mentally of my entire 25 years on Earth. I laid in bed most of the day, suicidal thoughts constantly buzzed in my head and I was struggling with self-harming on an almost daily basis. My therapist was very serious when she told me… Continue reading Finding My Antidepressant Match
Please don’t judge me for the title of my post, hear me out before you think of me as someone who is “fake” or “self-absorbed.” In my life, I have always enjoyed wearing makeup. I never thought I did a great job at it, but I admired others who had a true talent for it.… Continue reading Makeup Saved My Life
As human beings, regardless of our backgrounds, we’ve become conditioned to evaluate our success in life based on the monetary value of our material possessions. The impact of this trending train of thought has become detrimental to our society, and is especially toxic for those of us who already struggle to find our sense of… Continue reading The Long Road to Betterment
I wanted to share more of my journal in 2015. These two pieces are from early in 2015 when I was in a bad place. Everyday seemed to be worse than the last. As always these entries are as written. You can find the other two blog posts here: My Mental Illness Journal Mental Illness… Continue reading Depression Journal – Part Three