I am too attached

I associated the word “attachment” as someone who is clingy, annoying and who has “issues” that they couldn’t resolve in the past – Until this year.

I get attached to people fairly easily. Most people say it’s because I am just a very caring person and that is a good thing.

I want to see it as a good thing, but it hurts.

It hurts to let people go in my life, including my therapist.

This past summer, when things were just extremely stressful and my anxiety has heightened up like never before. During this time, my therapist’s abrupt news of termination was enough to trigger my first depressive episode.

I was in so much denial for the longest time, but I had to come to conclusion that it was because I was so attached to my therapist.

Thankfully, we got in touch again and took another month or two to fully work it out and terminate “safely”.

My therapist suggested doing a group therapy in a group that they were leading this fall, so that I can have a smoother transition of saying goodbye.

Today was actually my last time seeing her as the group terminated.

Am I sad? Kind of. Am I going to have a depressive episode like this past summer? No.

It’s a bittersweet feeling of saying goodbye, but it leaves me with a thought wondering what I can do to leave my “attachment” behind. It’s ironic how the word attachment is so attached to my own emotions.

I know I am not alone in this. How do you deal with attachment and saying goodbye?

I would love to hear.

The Stigma of Mental Illness

I am so sick of everyone in this country calling White mass shooters “mentally ill”. Perhaps they are, perhaps not. But it shows a deep misunderstanding of what it is to be mentally ill and decreases the help in treatment of those of us who are truly mentally ill while further increasing stigma around mental illness.

Diagnosed Bipolar? Be careful, you might crack and go on a shooting spree! Which is complete bullshit.

We need to stop labeling the mass shooters as mentally ill. They are criminals, terrorists. Mental illness has nothing to do with the actions taken by a shooter. In fact, most mentally ill people are more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.

We need to get rid of the stigma surrounding mental illness in order to start providing proper treatment for those that are mentally ill.

What do you think a person diagnosed with Depression or Anxiety or Bipolar or Schizophrenia starts to believe when an entire nation views mental illness as angry, white men with AR-15’s shooting people?

It makes us feel broken, that we are abnormal in this culture. We internalize these feelings and believe there is no hope for us. We are “evil” in some way. We may break and hurt someone. Which is complete bullshit.

Most mentally ill people are lashing in on themselves—they feel they are to blame for their depression, they are weak. It is some abnormality within myself that creates my sadness, my anxiety, my impulses, my self. I have a personality flaw.

When, in fact, I’m actually sick. I have a real disease called Depression or Anxiety or Bipolar. These things are real, not a part of me, not a character flaw, but an illness just like cancer.

We, as a culture, need to stop demonizing mental illness. We need to stop being afraid of it. You would never say “Try to fake you don’t have cancer. Smile. It’ll go away” to someone with cancer. Why say this to someone with Depression? Why invalidate a whole person’s struggle?

Mental illness needs to be better understood. It is not a character flaw. I’m not going to get better by “faking” it. I have an actual disease that affects my personality. It is dark. It is lethal. It is *real*. I’m not dangerous, I’m not someone to pity. I’m not insane or crazy or abnormal or any of that. I’m just like you, only I have an illness.

And once we accept this and stop thinking mass shooters are the face of mental illness, we truly can start progressing in proper methods of healing our minds.

We need better care. We need more understanding. And we need to dissolve the stigma around mental illness so people can feel comfortable asking for help. So we can improve the treatment of our mental health.

And so those of us with a mental illness don’t have to be so afraid in admitting we have an illness.

Share Your Story – A Mental Health Safe Place Pt. 2

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The Bipolar Writer Collaborative Mental Health Blog is what I consider a safe place for those who are suffering from mental illness. A place where each of us can tell their stories. It could be as a collaborator, a guest blogger under your name, or an anonymous guest post.

I want The Bipolar Writer Blog to be a mental health place where people can feel free to share their stories. So here is what I will be offering.

  • Anonymous Guest Blog spots
  • Guest blog spots for regular bloggers
  • Interview Features that I write
  • Becoming a collaborative blogger on The Bipolar Writer blog.

This will be a safe place for all those that have mental illness.

All inquiries email me @ jamesedgarskye22@gmail.com

Always Keep Fighting (AKF)

James

Photo Credit:

Brittani Burns

Micah Williams

Why do We Fight to End the Mental Illness Stigma?

Have you ever told someone that the mental illness you are going through is just a “phase?”

Action Speak Louder Than Words

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Words hurt more than anything. It pains me when someone says to me “you should just get over it, everyone else has to.” That is probably true at some level, but the truth is so much more profound– if I could go a day without mental illness, it would be a blessing. It would be so much easier to wake up one morning and not fear the day. Not worry that my anxiety may spiral at any moment. That this morning could be the morning that I want to end it all for no other reason than the wiring is all wrong in my head.

Today I read a sad story about a young boy just nine-years-old that was bullied to the point that he took his own life. How can we live in a world where words from bullying are so bad that someone so young could take his life? We should live in a world where everyone is welcome, and not judged by things like who we chose to be or love. Sadly, we do not live in such a world, but we can continue to fight to end this way of thinking.

It may just seem like words, but words can cut deep, and can have a lasting effect. Words can make mental illness seem impossible to live within this world.

So what can we do? We continue to give the voice to the people of the mental illness community. The shared experience that we that have lived in this world is what can make a significant difference. Maybe together we can end the stigma and let people know that suicide is not the answer. We can not continue as a society if we treat those of us with mental illnesses as second-class citizens and resort to bullying because we fail to fit what society believes we should act or feel. Mental illness is not a choice.

What Can We Do?

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I have found sharing through experience, the entire experience– the good, the bad, and the ugly is the best way to combat the stigma. When we talk about our experiences, it helps those who will never know what it is like to live a day with a mental illness. We must educate those people with our amazing mental illness journey. No journey is simple and straightforward. Living each day with a mental illness and just surviving is a strength. Let us share that strength to teach.

At the same time, we must continue to educate ourselves by reading the stories of others in the mental illness community. When we are divided by our own differences, it makes it easier for people to say “just get over it.” The mental illness community is stronger as a whole.

Words matter. We can show how words can hurt us and make us want to disappear. We can also use words to our advantage when we share a common cause with those in this world that suffer from physical conditions. That can only strengthen our position because they know as well as anyone what suffering brings. Suffering is suffering, no matter physical or mental.

Let us Encourage Seeking Help!

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Above all, we must encourage those that are suffering alone without help to seek help. There is nothing more important than seeking help, and it is the most stigmatized part of mental illness.

I can recount many times that people have frowned upon the thought of me seeing a therapist. They ask how someone could be open to telling a perfect stranger your most profound darkest thoughts? It helps to have someone to talk to that is trained to understand. It was not always so, but I am proud that I am willing to seek help from a therapist and a psychiatrist. There are those that find solace in group therapy. I have found some peace with my social anxiety with cognitive behavioral therapy. Productive things like meditation, drinking tea, and working out the body and mind were all things learned through seeking help.

Writing is a great way to share your experience. I never thought I would get to a point where I would be writing about my experiences here on my blog for the world to see. I have found strength as a mental health advocate, and I don’t see myself doing anything else. Seeking help is a sign that you are coming to terms that something is wrong in your life. There is nothing wrong with seeking help, and we must tell those that are resistant the truth– it could mean the difference between life and death.

Together we can end the stigma, end suicide, and educate the world. No longer do we have to hide our illness because we are scared of the stigma. Let us fight.

Always Keep Fighting

James

Photo Credit:

Isaiah Rustad

Mikael Cho

Ana Tavares

Mikael Cho

Guest Posts on The Bipolar Writer Blog

Guest Blog Posts for Mental Health Awareness Month

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I know its the 11th of March and I should have done this sooner, but I wanted to open up some guest spots on my blog for the rest of the month. What does it mean to guest blog on The Bipolar Writer blog? Well, it’s simple, and here are the required things that I want from my guest bloggers.

  • Original content on any topic of mental health, mental illness, or mental health awareness.
    • You can talk about the stigma of mental illness.
    • Anything related to mental illness will be accepted. It can be a poem, a short story, or simply an article about an mental health topic.
  • Edited and proofread content
  • A link to your blog
  • At least a featured image for the post (but the more pictures you chose makes for a more exciting blog post.
  • (Optional) Name connected to post

It is that simple. I want to stress the importance of proofreading the piece that you submit. I will at times proofread an article given to me as a guest blog, but I am often busy.

If you would like to guest blog merely send all the required information above to my email address @ jamesedgarskye22@gmail.com

I look forward to seeing what my fellow bloggers offer regarding exciting pieces for mental health awareness month.

Let’s fight the stigma surrounding mental illness together!

James Edgar Skye

Photo Credit: https://www.pituitaryworldnews.org/may-is-mental-health-awareness-month/