Fate

And such indescribable and sublime loneliness.

I wanted to protect you from fate.

The fate that carries you away further and further…

Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind. Sending you angel love and blessings.

Love, Francesca.

So Many…

There are so many men and women out there during this pandemic, waiting, longing and eager to send their friends, partners and parents flowers.

So they waited a long time to show these flowers how pretty and wonderful these people are. But they have to wait a little longer…

Thank you for being with me. Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Sending you angel love and blessings.

Love, Francesca.

2019

2019 has been a year of growth and challenges.

But I can never blame myself for wanting to live.

Everything is teaching me something.
As long as I’m open and willing to learn.

Everyone comes into this world being enough. I am enough. 💫

Here is to 2020.

Thank you for being with me.
Angel Love and Blessings.

Love, Francesca.

What Anger Is To Me

Please don’t tell me that a smile and your sorrow just don’t go together.

I would not look upon my anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight. I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, and with non-violence.

When I get angry, I have to produce awareness: “I am angry. Anger is in me. I am anger”. That is the first thing to do.

Thank you for being with me. Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Angel love and rainbows.

Love, Francesca.

The Voyage and Worthiness

I am worthy

even when I don’t feel like it.

There’s so much of my past self that I don’t

resonate with at all anymore, but I love her just the same.

She was growing.

She was doing her best.

She fought hard to get me here.

Thank you for being with me. Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Angel love and rainbows.

Love, Francesca.

Unplug

Photo by Lucas Pezeta on Pexels.com

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you. Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.

Thank you for being with me. Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Angel love and rainbows.

Love, Francesca.

Reclaiming My Love For Literature

I am guessing that most of you might have realized that I have been absent for quite some time. Despite me being an advocate for mental health, I too suffer from mental health issues and the health issues hinder my day-to-day experiences. Though I understand that I was diagnosed with Bipolar Mood Disorder, it doesn’t define who I am and who I aspire to be.

It takes a lot more effort though to manage and deal with what is expected of us, from our jobs, schools, work and family life. It can be quite taxing especially when one is currently having an episode. When I had my fourth episode this year, I was hospitalized for quite a while, longer than I have ever been before. I had suicidal ideation and had no recollection of anything that I was doing.

I lost a sense of who I was because, at the time, I had not found the right cocktail of medications that worked for me. It was all trial and error and I was frustrated since nothing was working and that I took longer to recover from episodes.

I lost so much interest in things that I used to love doing. I stopped journaling, writing code, blogging and of course, began despising literature. Mind you, I’m not a literature student, I am a computer science and engineering student. This may sound extremely weird for most people because most people in Stem fields have little or no interest in literature. Believe me you, there are so many of us, in stem that appreciate language beyond research purposes but for the beauty that the art of language portrays.

Before and during my hospitalization I lost my ability to read and retain what I read. I was infuriated by this because literature was my canvas, my form of expression besides science. I was lost and felt hopeless. While I was in hospital my boyfriend brought me novels and non-fiction books. I struggled to read more than 10 pages a day, but as time went by I picked up speed and began reading and writing. Before I knew it, I finished a 150-page novel in two days within the second week of my hospital stay. I progressed and read more books which were a bit longer than the first. My love for literature and reading was reignited.

I found me again. It’s through the little things in life that we know our life purpose. It’s not about the money or the physical things that fulfill us but rather the tiny little basic needs that we require to live our lives. The ability to have the freedom to express what we want and the freedom to be authentically ourselves. As I mentioned, I found me again and I couldn’t be happier!

Thank you for being with me. Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Angel love and rainbows.

Love, Francesca.

Time

Time is one of the most important concepts that must be considered when talking about mental health. All of us feel that time is one resource that is not used wisely, the fact is contrasted by all we must do with the time we are afforded. For those with mental health issues, it may at times seem like time moves faster not just because of the need to heal but, also time spent contemplating moments missed and the pain of the past. No man has the power to control time, but one must continue living life despite it all, regardless of the hand that fate has dealt them.

A Poem about Time:

by : Francesca Seopa

Time comes, Time goes.

Time reaps, Time sows.

Time lingers, Time outlasts.

Time destroys, Time heals

Time takes, Time gives

Fate curses, Fate blesses

Fate so fickle, Fate so shrewd.

With a smile warm and lewd.

A guide through the dark dense woods.

The thing about time is that it is neither enemy nor friend, it’s not for anything or anyone. Time roots for no particular outcome. Like water flowing out of an overturned glass, Time moves simply because the laws of nature dictate it be so. The same goes for Fate. Even though you might feel that your fate is miserable and locked in that state, honestly speaking, Fate is shaped by a person’s thoughts and time. Empires have risen and fallen, kings crowned and dethroned. People are born and they die, sometime ghastly quick deaths, most of the time a slow agonizing death after a life of highs and lows. The point here is that one must not hold onto the feeling of time slipping away, not to overvalue or overthink what fate has accorded them. If anything, time must be spent living whatever life one wants and as for fate, whatever you do what will happen will happen. Life has ups and downs and no one can control what happens to them. People have the power of choice, they have the power to empower themselves despite what Life throws at them. The power of their choices will dictate their Fate. This is why it is so important for people to work towards healing, empowering themselves and understanding that they are worthy despite what they went through.

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.

– William Shakespeare

Thank you for being with me.

So, I close my eyes to old ends and open my heart to new beginnings.

– Nick Frederickson

I look forward to seeing you here. Let us rebuild a healthy state of Mind.

Warmly, Francesca.

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Reasons To Live

It is completely acceptable to stay alive for tiny reasons. Because you want to hear your favorite song one more time. Because your pet will miss you if you leave. The moon is just too pretty to never see. The beautiful sunsets are just too precious to never see again. Because you haven’t seen the next season of a really good TV show. Because you want to see the Christmas lights this year. If you are alive, you are doing enough.

So we push, to tear down the walls. Of the box that life has left us in to keep us away. And now we push to stay together. Know that nobody is going to save us from ourselves. The bad memories will knock us down. The good memories will lift us up. If you are surviving, just know that I am proud of you.

Thank you for being with me. Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Love, Francesca.

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