Need The universe playes a trick on usIt makes us loveAnd love makes us needy So we bend and fold and adapt and changeOh, to satisfy our needTo be lovedTo be seenBeyond the skin Beyond the acceptable ways to beTo be seenAnd heardAnd understood for onceTreated softlyTaken care ofLike we are worthyLike we are goldAnd… Continue reading NEED
Stop saying”Turn your face towards the sun and let the shadows fall behind” It doesn’t work that way Stop saying”Everything happens for a reason” It doesn’t Stop saying”Time heals all wounds” Time does no such thing Stop telling me that life is not fair I’ve known this since birth Stop telling me to “let it… Continue reading LEAVE ME ALONE
HUNGRY Hiss of bacon – crunch of toast – syrup golden – chocolate log Butter dripping – jellies crunching – fat a-crackling – mayonnaise Samoosas and pretzels and quaint pastry squares Puff them all for me baby Tell them all for me : “Rise!” Icing and sugar and lemon meringue Salmon and fillet and mushroom… Continue reading HUNGRY
I drove to school this morning listening to a Rachmaninoff piano concerto while taking in a breathtaking orange-red sunrise over the Eastern Cape veld. As always, the 35 minute drive allowed my thoughts to wander. I was thinking about gifts. Blessings. Questions with no answers. Faith. What we believe to be true about God. The… Continue reading When Your Heart Is Breaking
( written on Lockdown DAY 70 in South Africa , 10 weeks in ) Don’t do it. Kick the kitchen cupboard. It hurts. I know because I’ve done it a few times during the past two weeks. You can safely say that emotionally I am now crazily swiveling between ANGER and SADNESS if you look… Continue reading Kicked The Kitchen Cupboard Yet?
I wake up covered in vomit. There’s a tinge of daylight outside the shed. It’s cold. So cold. O God, no. Why did you make me wake up? I pleaded with you, God. Did you not hear my voice? Did you not see my life? My struggle? WHY , God? I lie in the vomit… Continue reading SNAKE (part 2)
The evening starts with the best of intentions. I have bought snacks and the wine is cooling in the fridge. Candle light flickers across the dining room ceiling. I pray that my restless 18 month old son will go to sleep soon. This evening is important. I need to make it work. Conversation between me… Continue reading SNAKE ( part 1 )
Examine the image closely. Imagine yourself on that stage, under those lights. Imagine all those seats filled with students. There’s anticipation in the air because they are finally quiet. Ready for the show to begin. All eyes on you. On your every move. On your outfit, your shoes, your hairstyle. Is your heart beating a… Continue reading Aaaaaand…Action!
I left my baby somewhere in a parking lot. Left him still strapped into his car seat on the cold tarmac. I walked away. Now it is dark outside. I need to find my son. I can hear him crying but I can’t find him. There is no one but me in this huge, grey… Continue reading Baby, You Scare Me