When dealing with mental health issues; many relationships are hard. I have trust issues, moments of freakout, moments that I need to get away from a situation, and moments that I just need someone to reach out to me. Today that is my struggle. I am desperate to have someone in my life…. especially during COVID. Sometimes I can liken myself to people of great fame or notoriety, in the fact that they also had a completely human existence. Van Gogh struggled with his mental health, he had a weird relationship with his brother, and one of his friends couldn’t deal with him anymore and left him, and often frequented a mental institute. This man cut off his ear he was in so much pain. There are times when I feel intense pain, sorrow, regret, fear, loneliness that I can understand this absolute genius in art, just not his great skill and I can let myself feel so useless, uneeded, and a burden.
However today, I will not let myself stay in that headspace, I will sit and use some oil pastels or maybe just some crayons since today I feel like I need to draw hard, so cheap crayons might be the way to go. My plan is to leave as much frustration as I can on the paper, and I plan to mimic Van Gogh in the use of darkness and circles (Starry Night includes a lot of movement by circles). Then see what is left, and journal the rest on the back. Anyone else who wants to give it a try with me please do. I will update and share with you a little into my experience and maybe you will share a little of how it went for you, or some other time you “arted” your way to coping.