Work Anxiety is Ruling My Emotions

Making mistakes at work gives me overwhelming, day-ruining anxiety. March has been rough on me and I just want to give up and hide away under my covers for a year. The anxiety is too much.

During January and February, I was alright with work. But once March came, it felt like everything I did was wrong.

That every email I got was “Megan, I’m concerned about…”. I feel like it’s so many small things that have become a mountain that can touch the sky. Today I got an email about making too many spelling errors and that I need to do better. That tipped me over the edge.

I broke down and cried.

I have been so worried that I will get fired for my dumb mistakes that this makes me feel so defeated. Do I just give up? Do I quit before I can get fired?

Whenever I’m on a shit streak in life I shutdown. I want to become a hermit that only leaves the house to let my dog outside and go grocery shopping. That I can’t make mistakes if I’m alone by myself.

The weight of my mistakes is too much. Yes, I do need to be more thoughtful about my spelling. I think it was the straw that broke the camel’s back sort of situation though. This has been building up over a month and the floodgates went flying open.

I want to do well at work, I really do. I’ve been coasting by on the little energy I have since December. I do what I can but with my eyes glazed over and head in the clouds. I feel like I’m not totally present most days so I run on cruise control without using my brain. I play through the motions, do my tasks and say my lines, but it doesn’t mean anything.

I’m not sure if it’s depression or burn out or a heaping helping of both. It’s frustrating nonetheless. I have things I want to do but have no drive or energy to do them.

I’m going to try to make April a better month!

How do you cope with mistakes at work? When you have no energy and can’t focus, how do you sort yourself out?

Author: Megan

A 26-year-old woman trying to survive living with depression and anxiety. I love writing, petting cats, reading books and talking about nerdy stuff.

6 thoughts on “Work Anxiety is Ruling My Emotions”

  1. When I’m feeling burnt out(which is often), I try to focus on one thing at a time. Being overwhelmed never helped anyone. Even if the only thing I can control is saying that this is too much right now, that’s enough. It’s hard to advocate for yourself to yourself but you have to try and give yourself grace.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m sorry. Sometimes the weight of mental illness feels unbearable. For me, when time off isn’t possible, I resort to lists. They provide the structure and direction that depression tears away. I hope you can find a way to give yourself a chance to recharge. Depression is an energy-suck and it sounds like your work is doing the same thing to you right now.

    On a practical, feel-free-to-ignore-it note, you can install a Grammarly extension onto your computer to help with spelling and editing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lists can be a great way to put all of the jumbles on to paper. I enjoy making them on weekends especially!

      Thank you for the suggestion! I downloaded it and it seriously has made such a difference ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

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