What happens when you beat to the tune of a different drum?
What happens when all that you think and all that you do was changed in one moment in time?
What happens when its not just that moment, but all the moments that led up to this moment that you only just now put together?
What happens when all you want is sense of normalcy?
What happens when all you want is a sense of belonging?
What happens when your head spits out info faster than you can ever put into words?
What happens when today is the day that someone is listening to you?
What happens when today is the day that is the start of something new?
What happens when today is not just a moment, but a moment that defines all the rest?
What if today is the day you decide you are normally you?
What if today you get just piece of that into words?
I’ll tell you, but you have to first spend the day spending time with me…….
The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog 
Beating to a different drum is how I get through life, I can’t be the same as everyone else, I feel like a fraud. I couldn’t tell you the moment I realised that being different was a good thing, it was late in my teens, probably even in my 20s. If I had to guess I’d say Uni (mature student) played a big part in it, that and an amazing counsellor who showed me that actually I’m pretty damned resilient and can achieve what I want to. That I just need to learn to put in boundaries and not allow people to take advantage. As for head spitting out words faster than I can write or speak, that seems to be the way things just are for me lol. I get my words mixed up too because I seem to think around things in an unusual way, I refer to it as my bottom-up processing issues. I reach up for the right word and grab all the ones around it at the same time. “I’m just going to get the bike, car, thing… bus!”
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Hey wanted to get back to you sooner. I feel if we had coffee we would have a lot to talk about. “I’m pretty damn resilient and can achieve what I want to” is such a positive headspace and one that I used to have quite consistently. It has been a battle as of late, but want to get there again. Very inspiring!
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Sorry I didn’t respond sooner, WordPress didn’t give me a notification, or if it did I missed it lol. I think our brains are good at sabotaging, I still find some days I doubt myself, but it helps to remember that it’s natural to have doubts and acknowledging that helps me. I hope you’re feeling more positive now, and if you’re ever doubting yourself remember that even if you don’t feel like you’re succeeding, you’re trying and that’s more than most people do.
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