I have been thinking for a while now that I want to stop seeing my therapist. Typing that makes me nervous about ending it!
I have been seeing my therapist almost 3 years, which is crazy to think about. She has been my support through everything that’s happened in my life. When I was suicidal, she was there for me if I ever needed her outside of our sessions. When I was struggling with self-harm, she never shamed me (I am 487 days clean!). She was helped me dig through my negative thoughts, depressive episodes and anxiety attacks.
My mental health has been pretty good for the past few months. I have been seeing her monthly to discuss what’s going on in my life, how my mental health is and whatever I’m worried about at the moment. I love seeing her but I think it is time to take a break with our sessions.
The idea of stopping therapy scares me.
It automatically turns on the anxiety bells in my brain and starts to tie my stomach into knots. My worry is that I will get bad again, that I will plummet to the bottom and not have her there to help me get back up.
She has helped me get to this positive place in my mental health journey. She has helped me with coping skills, rational thinking and how to question my anxious thoughts.
BUT
Change always makes me depressed even if it’s a good change. Growing up I would get depressed when I moved up to the next grade. I got depressed every time I moved back to college or moved home from college. Most big changes immediately send me into a depressive spiral.
I have a big change coming up that I am pretty sure will make me depressed even though I am excited about it. My boyfriend and I are taking a huge step together! We are buying a house! (Please don’t tell me in the comments that I should be married first or that I’m doing this backwards.)
I’m worried already about everything that comes with buying a house and moving in with a long-term partner. I worry that all of the stress will push me into a depressive/anxious mess that I would have to cope with without my therapist.
I meet with her the second Monday of July. There I will tell her what I’m thinking, maybe she will alleviate some of my worries.
What has your experience been like after you stopped therapy? Leave me a comment please!
The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog 
3 years is a long time. It’s funny, in about 2 weeks I have a scheduled post about staying with therapy after over a year and feeling like I’m in a good place. I think if you feel your ready then that’s great and you should take a break! You can always go back, right? Congrats on the house too. I love being a home owner and being able to out my touch I’m things. I think you’ll really enjoy it. Best of luck!
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It is a long time! True true I can always go back to her. Thanks for commenting! I look forward to reading your post 🙂
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I stopped therapy once, my therapist had maternity leave and then it just trailed off after that but after a couple of years I’m back with the same therapist. Congrats on the house 😀
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That’s great! Haha thank you 🙂
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Only you can decide how you want to handle your own health & welfare.
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True!! Thanks for commenting!
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Buying a house can be scary but once it is done usually you are glad. Hopefully you will be able to find something that you love.
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I hope so too. I hope everything works out and i’m trying not to worry myself into a meltdown.
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Sometimes I get tired of therapy too. It often feels like I’ve reached the wall with my therapist.
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I always get this after a few months. I feel like I have received all the skills I need and needed to be reminded of. Then I leave for a while before going back to start over
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Then maybe it’s time for you to take a break as well. Thanks for commenting, Maranda!
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I had a wonderful therapist in the city I used to live in. I saw her on and off for a number of years. Sometimes I would be in a great place mentally and just didn’t need to see her. Other times I would know I needed a ‘tune up’ and would give her a call again. I never really ‘ended’ my therapy sessions which for me, greatly removed the stress. It was always ‘just for now’: no pressure; no big decision. Congratulations on your house – such an exciting time in your life! Just enjoy it 😊
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I love that mentality! Thanks for the insight! I’ll try my best to not worry myself into a frenzy 🙂
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It took me a long time to get to this point, I must admit…😊 Seems like we are on the same wavelength. Peace and happiness to you 😊✌️
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So sweet, you too Patti!
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I am praying for you, Megan. You have some challenges ahead. I had a therapist who gave me a note that I have kept and used for years.
“When you leave home, sometimes a crisis WILL arise. It will be tempting to go home. The challenge will be to find another solution.”
That has helped me so much because I too struggle with new things, and feeling like I did something wrong to cause the crisis, or like I need to something to make it back right. But the note was so helpful to remind me sometimes a crisis will simply come but it will go.
You are wise to be talking it over with your therapist. I am sure she will let you know you can call ANYTIME you need.
Hoping the best for you and your boyfriend. God loves you!
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You’re so right, a crisis does eventually end. I am sure she would let me call or come back to her whenever I need her. She has been so wonderful 🙂 Thank you for commenting, Gail!
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🙂
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It sounds like you have a handle on the situation and I can understand your hesitancy to stop therapy, maybe you could just go every other month to start. Besides you can always go back. 🙂 I am about to re-start my therapy journey myself due to recent events. I really relate to your reaction to change, I have always felt the same way. Thank you for sharing.
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That is a good idea, I could go every other month! I’m happy that you could relate to my post 🙂 Thank you for commenting, M!
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My therapist gave me hope with my anxiety but it only helped me a little.Buying a house can be a big step but i’m sure you and your boyfriend will be happy. You are doing the right thing talking it over with your therapist maybe she can offer you further support if you need it. Thanks for posting!! 🙂
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That sucks your therapy wasn’t as helpful as you had hoped it would be. Different things work for different people. I hope that we are happy in our new place! We make an offer this week! Thank you for commenting, Kim!
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Hi Megan, I’ve been seeing my psychiatrist for 3 years now too, taking medications regularly for about the same time too. I thought I was cured, I was feeling happy and was able to focus, I thought that I am ready to stop. I started by decreasing my dose (without doctors knowledge).. almost immediately I felt I started to downslide. But then, I thought I was strong I was brave enough to handle it, somehow I stopped.
My downhill was gradual, I stopped interest in going to the gym, doing yoga, I’m losing my focus. I was actually aware.
I joined the 10 days Vipassana silent meditation retreat and it worked — for a while.
It’s been a bit over 3 months now after Vipassana, and here I am back into this dark hole. I can’t almost move. I’m drowning myself in depression and anxiety — I locked myself in my room, sleeping for over 24hours. and even just waking up and going to the washroom is just too painful.
I’m starting to do blogging and writing about my life hoping I found it really helping me with and keeping me sane and at peace.
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That’s why I’m afraid to decrease my medicine too. I worry that it’s helped me stay content for so long that my brain would go wacky.
That sucks with all that you’re going through. I completely understand the extreme difficulty of doing basic tasks. Isolating myself and sleeping is something I do too when I’m struggling.
I hope that your blog will help you through this! This blog is also such a great resource and space to get support and advice from other people who understand.
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Congratulations on your (soon to be) house purchase. It is always an exciting time as well as a positive step forward. Enjoy!
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Thank you!!
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I worked with my therapist for 3,5 years, but now I am ok to be on my own again. We will meet every three months, so I have a safety net. That’s a good compromise for me.
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I love that idea, Viola! Having a safety net sounds like a great way to function independently while still having that support for when you need it. Thanks for commenting!!
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I wish I could say I’ve been with a therapist for 3 years. I change them before I actually get anywhere. Hopefully I’ll be able to open completely up to this new one.
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I wish you the best of luck with your new therapist!!
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I stopped therapy at least twice… best thing my counselor has said “I’ll be here”
After a year I called in tears and he took me back, I quit again due to schedule conflicts
A year later I called overwhelmed and he said “welcome home”.
The best therapist will be there when you’re ready to come back IF you ever are!
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That sounds like a great relationship you have with your therapist! I hope that’ll be the case for me as well. Thanks for commenting!
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I think we think when we stop we can’t reach out for help. Go for it. Knowing you still have a support system . You know what triggers you make sure you’re in front of it.
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I am a therapist and I highly encouraged you to stop therapy for a while. As a therapist, I always would like my client know that good-bye is not forever. I would be very sad not to see them at the same time on the same day each week. However, I also feel like a proud mother who sees my children being able to spread their wings. In the meantime, i also let my clients know that they can always come back whenever they need a tune up. Life is about tons of curve balls. Knowing that I can always provide my client a safe place to return when they need to always make me feel positive about my work.
I also see the clients develop a sense of control within themselves whenever they stop therapy for a while to try out on their own. When they return to therapy, it’s not a failure but to return to home for a much needed charge.
My clients with childhood family trauma always apprecaite my analogy and happy to know they can always have a security base to return.
Good luck and go spread your wings. Your therapist will be very proud of you.
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