Things have been warm at best with me. I’m getting real irritable. To be honest I don’t feel like myself. I feel like an alien in my body. I’m going to therapy and I’m struggling to get a grasp on what I want to do with my life. I’m not sure how to do things anymore. I just want to be happy and I’m not happy with who I am. I just wish that things would get better for me.
I’m not the kind of girl that just says she’ll change and only takes a few steps to get to that goal.i feel like a loser right and no one really has the time for me anymore. Everyone is busy with their own things. My best friend is getting married, my mom a divorce for the third time and counseling, my fiance works most of the time, my other friends are just to busy with their own lives to see if I’m okay.
I feel like a burden on everyone. I’m not doing okay. I’m just barely getting out of bed these days. I’m starting to slip into a depressive episode and it’s the middle of the warm months. I’m looking st the positive as much as I can. My brain will prevent me from looking at the positive for too long. It doesn’t want me to be happy.
I thought I would be happy with the people around me and I am trust me. It’s just that I feel so alone in anyone’s company. I don’t really much at the moment. So I’m just trying to get through the day as best as I can. Hardly anyone in my family can understand what I am going through. I don’t want to throw the last few years of my life down the drain, but I’m starting to feel as if there is no other way.
I want to cry and cut. I don’t want to die. I just want to cut and cry. I have the means to but I really don’t want to throw tears of sobriety down the drain. I love you guys and thank you for listening.Become a Patron!https://c6.patreon.com/becomePatronButton.bundle.js