Before we dive in, I want to just let everyone know that my campaign to upgrade my blog is still underway. If you can donate anything that would be amazing, and those that have it is amazing that you have done so!
My GoFundMe Campaign
My First Depressive Episode of 2019
Well, it was bound to happen. All my good luck this winter with minimal depression has finally come to an end. I am in my first depressive episode of 2019.
I figured my depression would make its comeback. With Bipolar being for life, it was inevitable. Just like my mania, at some point, it will go awry, and I will be struggling. I understand that this is my and always will be.
It started Saturday. I woke up feeling really weird. I felt a bit hopeless. So many things in my life are piling up, and I am beginning to feel doubts, the lack of confidence in my writing, and a bit of hopelessness. It sucks. I have so many plans and things to get done, and yet things in my life are keeping me from being happy at this moment.
I was so ecstatic about how I have been able to be so productive this winter. My seasonal component has not been an issue (SAD) but the past few days I could feel the weather changing my mood. It has been rainy here the last couple days, and while I often feel good when it rains it not the case at this moment.
Depression is a significant weight on my shoulders, and while I would rather deal with depression than my social anxiety, it still makes me feel like the worst part of me. What has been getting me down?
- Trying to figure out the next step with my memoir. I might have to pay a professional to edit if I want this to be the best book I can make it. Money is always an issue as a struggling writer.
- I have been worried about taking The Bipolar Writer blog to the next step and upgrade to a business plan. I want to create a platform that people can share their writings. While my campaign has been good so far (this blog has raised over 100 dollars so far) I hate asking people for help, and yet it is needed.
- I am starting a new fiction novel, and there is a lot of apprehension about devoting so much time. I am a student, a freelance writer, and I have this blog.
- When I stress my depression increases.
It will get better. It always does, and there are other factors right now that is making my depression spiral. The best I can do is stay grounded and try my best not to make this a long depression cycle. I have to remember I am only human and I have a mental illness. The most important thing is my mental health.
Stay strong my fellow sufferers.
Always Keep Fighting