It’s been almost my life long dream to become a mental health clinician. I dreamt of being a psychotherapist for a long time and it was quite a journey to be where I am right now.
Little did I know I myself would be seeking treatment for mental health matters as I was preparing to enter graduate school to become a clinician myself.
What came first?
My depressive episode was triggered past summer while I was doing a research fellowship. I was working on a research project that I always dreamt of and it was exactly what I wanted.
However, the stress and expectation I put on myself was strong enough to trigger an entire episode.
How ironic is it that what I was doing to become a therapist myself brought this upon me?
I’ve come a long way to come to terms with myself to slow down. I am learning to take a deep breath before I make any decisions regarding my future and take more time before making decisions.
But, I still can’t get the thought of incompetency out of my head.
I know I can be and will be one day – a competent clinician. But also as a HUMAN BEING that suffers from mental health matters, I am scared that I may not be able to.
I wonder days after days WHAT CAME FIRST?
Is it my mental health issues or my dream to be a therapist?
What do you guys think about a therapist treating others as themselves receiving treatment for mental health?
I’d love to hear.