Change Is Never Easy

I have struggled lately to reshape my sleep schedule. The funny thing about the situation is that it’s working at one level. I am getting to sleep quicker because I have been a productive person when I am up at 5 am. I am tired because my day is productive and that is the best thing for this mental illness life. This is great for someone who lives with insomnia. The change has been mostly positive, but the small issues seem to get to me.

I am still struggling with motivation to get up every day at 5 am. I have been doing it right most days, but the change has been hard to deal with because of my focus. When I wake some days, I feel the pull to stay in bed versus getting up and being productive. I want this new sleep/wake schedule to work. On the days where my focus is better, I am so productive during my day.

I have more hours in which to complete my checklist for school and writing. It feels great to be able to find a balance between school and writing. The problem? I am still fighting depression and anxiety.

I could feel it this morning when I woke up. I wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and not face the day. For an hour I fought a battle in my mind trying to decide to take the day off or push through to that I can take a day off on Friday. It’s becoming one of those days where I will have to just survive these feelings.

Change can be so tricky in this Bipolar life. I know that this is the right path. I have seen the success. If I can get my depression and anxiety on board, then that will be what I need. So I will keep going today. It’s what I have to do— keep fighting. Always.

Change is good, it’s just never easy.

J.E. Skye

Photo Credit: unsplash-logoKerrie DeFelice

20 thoughts on “Change Is Never Easy

  1. I really commend you for making it out of bed at 5 am most days!

    As someone who also struggles with anxiety, the pull of the bed is strongest for me in the mornings too. I set my alarm at least 30 minutes before 8 am to give myself time to try and mentally prepare for the day. It doesn’t always work, but we keep fighting, right?

    Thanks for sharing and inspiring us to keep keeping on.


  2. Pingback: Change Is Never Easy — The Bipolar Writer – International Badass Activists

  3. In a different life I would’ve suggested adding exercise to your morning routine, nothing crazy, just light cardio seems to be the way to go. Seems to be the trait of successful individuals. Gives you a reason to get up I suppose.


  4. Perseverance James! Don’t give your mind time to argue in the morning. Get up as soon as the alarm rings, otherwise, if you lay there, your old self will eventually wear you down, content to pull the covers back over your head for the false comfort it provides. Hang in there, your on the right track.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. While I am not bipolar (my favorite singer mariah carey ) just announced to the world that she has been diagnosed as being bipolar years ago. I think I do have anxiety and depression but was never diagnosed with either. There are some nights that I just do not want to get out of bed and start the day. There are some days I feel like I am hating every second of my job, and my life. However, as I get older, I have noticed a change. I have pets, friends, family, that help me get through it. I take long walks, the gym helps, and I have just cut soda out (8 days sober) and I have noticed I drift off to sleep better and stay a sleep better and wake up feeling less groggy than I did when I had 1-2 cans of soda a day. I agree with BOB….get up as soon as your alarm goes off. I am not a morning person at all… when that alarm goes off at 6 am I have to jump out of bed, get dressed quickly, brush teeth, make my morning smoothie and run out the door. I dont even give myself 2 seconds to think about how much I hate my job (but I have to be an adult and pay my bills!)


  6. Keep prospering ,your mind set will get better with your new routine kind of just like me I’m praying and trying to motivate and move in the a new direction I know that you can do it you’ve come this far don’t stop 🛑


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