My Dear Old Friend

You use to help me when I needed you the most.

Dependable. Reliable.

Confident. Creative.

Sharp. Quick with the wit.

You helped me find the perfect words to say.

Reminded me of memories from my past,

reliving beautiful images and making them last.

You helped me understand a movie I watched

or comprehend words from a book,

so I could interpret the words in a way that I should.

I loved you.

You were always there for me,

until you vanished and betrayed me.

You left me. I was left to defend myself in a world all alone.

A world that is not kind to people like me, living without you, after you left.

People did not understand that only part of me had left.

That part of me missing was you, but the rest of me was still there.

Parts of me were still intact.

They just couldn’t see the real me hidden from the rest of me, after you left.

I was not the same, but I was still there.

I was still the kind and caring person I have always been.

I was in there somewhere.

Trying to be strong and get out again.

I needed a gentler world to see me and guide me through,

as I tried to live in a world without you.

I missed you

and needed you desperately.

I can’t live without you.

The world was a scary and difficult place to live without you.

Then slowly you came back to visit.

Not all at once and never exactly the same.

But, still you returned.

I began to see the world as a better place again.

Nothing changed, but yet everything changed.

Images became clearer and more vivid.

Words came back quicker, some memories restored.

Information recalled. Functioning and living returned.

I began to enjoy life again.

My light became lit.

My spark ignited.

Joy and love filled my heart,

because you came back.

You are my dearest friend.

You,

my friend,

are my mind

and you left me.

You left me when I needed you the most.

Never leave me again.

I need you.

You complete me.

You make me whole.

I cannot live without you.

A mind is a terrible thing to lose.

I will do everything in my power and control

to never lose you again.

You are always a friend of mind mine.

Never mind.

We will always be BFFs,

best friends forever,

my mind and I.

~written by Susan Walz

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