My Worst Anxiety/Panic Attack Day

ryan-whitlow-535703-unsplashYesterday sucked, it was the hardest and longest panic attack that I have had in a long while. Since the moment I woke I had this feeling of dread, that it would take all that I could to get through this day– and I was right.

It has been relatively quiet when it comes to the panic attack department this summer. I have had a couple since July, but while my anxiety is high, lately it has not gone into full panic attack mode. I am guessing that it was inevitable that I would hit that place again, it has been all too familiar in the past two years.

In the first few hours of my day, it was spent trying to get my anxiety out of panic attack mode. much-needed I tried all the old tricks. I sat in the sun and tried to relax, that lasted about two minutes.


I was a mess by the time I came down from the panic attack about two hours later. One o the worst things with panic attacks is that your whole body feels like you ran a marathon after without actually running a marathon. What is worse is that even though the panic attack is over, you still have to deal with the anxiety.

The only way I came down was with Ativan, as I have not learned how to deal with anxiety/social anxiety without medications (I am a work in progress.) It sucked. The rest of my day consisted of anxiety and Ativan. I found a way to keep going. I ended up getting a much needed haircut and got pizza after. It was something postive.

Then I entered into no sleep which was worse, but that is for another blog post.

With that said it has been a tough week and I am only a few days (October 1st) from starting my master’s program. I worried. I always somehow find a way to pull it out of nowhere and figure this out. I am going to take a day off and then hopefully get back on track. I need a mental health day.

Always Keep Fighting (AKF)


Photo Credit:

Luke Palmer

Ryan Whitlow

Rob Bye

42 thoughts on “My Worst Anxiety/Panic Attack Day

  1. Oh James, I feel you man. I had a really bad day a few days ago. I have so much appreciation for your writings. So many people simply don’t understand what it’s like to feel this way for the majority of your days. Always keep fighting, always keep writing 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Pingback: My Worst Anxiety/Panic Attack Day – The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog – International Badass Activists

  3. I hope you understand that it’s perfectly okay to use medication to get through a panic attack. When I first started having them, there was no way I could have learned the coping skills I now have 30 years later without them (well, it didn’t take me 30 years to learn). I’m so sorry you had such a horrible day yesterday, and I hope you have a healing mental health day today.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Ugg, James. Just plain ugg! Oh, the unreasonableness of anxiety attacks.

    That being said, you got through it. You kept your chin up and put one foot in front of the other, even though it was a herculean task.

    See? You are stronger than you think. Hang in there.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hey James. I can relate SO well to what you went through. As much as I don’t want to admit, that anxiety panic attack leaves you with really ruined my day whenever I had those re-occur everyday for two weeks before I started treatment. Like someone mentioned above, it is okay to take meds on those bad days! My psychiatrist always tells me that Benzo or Ativan, can be treated like an “emergency med” and it’s OKAY to take them when you need them.

    Praying for healing and courage as you start your masters program soon!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I like how you mentioned the positives of your day. The haircut and pizza even though you were having a tough day. It is important to recognize that even though you were having a bad day you took time for yourself.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Aweee deep breaths James! I had a pretty bad one a couple days ago, too, though I somehow managed to steer back onto the road. I do have my Ativan on hand though just in case, so hearing someone else having the same meds around somehow makes me feel less “odd”. thanks for sharing, and hope you have a better day today ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Sound like you’re doing a great job taking care of yourself, despite all the challenges to it. Keep it up! I know how hard that is to just do the basic things when anxiety is at panic attack level. I can’t even do something as basic as wash dishes, much less be aware enough to purse strategies to manage my anxiety.
    The first step starting anything is always the hardest. I bet once you dive into that Master’s Program things will get easier.
    Take it easy and hang in there,
    Mrs. B.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. You’re so strong. I read your posts when I can, but I know you always speak so honestly about your mental situations and I respect that. Hang in there and congrats on getting into your masters program! Sending positive thoughts to you.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Having a massive panic attack after not having one for a while is the worst feeling, both during and after. I always feel defeated when I have panic attacks. Hoping you can keep your head up and work hard on that masters!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. It is the worst feeling ever. I’m sorry but try to always keep your head up and always think that you are not alone and that you are not the only one experiencing this. My old job made it worse for me 2 years ago but I had to be strong and tell them I quit and that I’m not having it anymore. Think positive and meditate if you can.


    Liked by 1 person

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