Which Vert are You?

I am sure you have been asked this question before. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?  I have recently pondered this question myself. For some people this is an easy question to answer, but for many, including myself, it is difficult.

To the outside world I may appear as an extrovert. I can be very friendly and can act social when I am out and about. Sometimes I talk a lot, as I have too much to say. I also love to speak publicly about topics I am passionate about, like mental illness, promoting good mental health and mental illness, ending mental illness stigma, suicide and suicide prevention.

Even though I can appear very social, friendly, likable and like an extrovert, people are not aware how I feel inside. I may be struggling inside, but can hide that part of myself to make others comfortable around me or because I need to share imperative information in a situation or at a speaking engagement.

Many times it is a daunting task to get out of my house and socialize, but once I am out I usually enjoy being around others and am usually good at it. This of course depends on the social setting, environment, people around me, my current mood pole and my intrinsic characteristics I am feeling and experiencing. Sometimes I am fully comfortable with my social settings and experiences and other times I am not. My extroversion varies.

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Many times I am an introvert. I love being alone and thrive in my inner world inside myself. One misconception is that people who are introverts are shy. This is not always the case. You can be an introvert and not be shy.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” ~ Ram Dass

Introverts tend to feel drained after socializing and regain their energy by spending time alone. Sometimes I can be very social but it becomes exhausting. Maybe that is because I am more of an introvert than I am an extrovert most of the time, and leaning more strongly to being an introvert. I don’t lie in the middle of the spectrum but instead fluctuate between being an introvert and extrovert.  People that know me well would not define me as an introvert.

We should never force ourselves to be something or someone we are not. If an introvert tries to be an extrovert too often, it can cause them to burn out, crash and reach a deep dark depression and/or have anxiety. This has happened to me many times when I tried to be someone or something I was not.

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It’s important to find where you are in the introversion/extroversion scale. By increasing your awareness of your type, you can develop a better sense of your personality characteristics and focus on your strengths.

Sometimes I fall in the middle of the extrovert and introvert spectrum. I am an ambivert and it is comforting knowing where I lie in the personality types.

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The trick to being an ambivert is knowing when to force yourself to lean toward one side of the spectrum when it isn’t happening naturally. Ambiverts with low self-awareness  and low self-esteem struggle with this. I used to often and occasionally still do. Now that I am aware of this, I can work on not forcing myself when I am not there.

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” –Bruce Lee

Adam Grant at Wharton found that two-thirds of people don’t strongly identify as introverts or extroverts. These people, which are the vast majority of us, are called ambiverts. Ambiverts have both introverted and extroverted tendencies. A balance of both would be considered an ambivert. The direction ambiverts lean toward varies greatly, depending on the situation.

Some introverts need their solitude as much as extroverts need their social interaction. As an ambivert, I need a little of both worlds. Recently I have been enjoying my solitude more than social interactions. Over the years, the severity of my bipolar symptoms caused me to isolate too much. Isolating has turned into a bad habit, but bad habits can be broken.

I understand it is imperative for me to socialize. I need to step out of my comfort zone, join some groups and find good people to be friends with. I may need to take baby steps in making this change as I am an ambivert, but that is okay. I just need to find a good balance with the introverted and extroverted parts of my personality.

First learn who you are. Then accept who are and embrace yourself lovingly. Love yourself. Learn to work with yourself versus fighting against yourself. Become the best version of yourself you can be.

Copyright © 2018 by Susan Walz | myloudbipolarwhispers.com | All Righs Reserved.

29 thoughts on “Which Vert are You?

  1. I’m an introvert who is slightly an ambivert. It really depends on the day though. Some days I can wake up and be an extrovert, but most of the time I’m an introvert.


  2. Thank you for taking the time to explain this🙏 I often question what I am or where I stand in this matter. My truth is whenever I read something inspirational and want to respond or even when something comes to mind I’d love to share I’ll attempt to respond or write via cellphone or laptop. If I get on my phone many times I’m getting rage stank eye from theleft of me indicating my cell phone use is unacceptable or perhaps I’ll embrace my laptop in a blissful mode of sharing insight and here comes the toddler demanding I place my attention on her or my preteen comes to me enthusiastically sharing her knowledge or my nine year old might send a soccer ball flying through the house just missing my head even though he knows undoubtedly it’s a HUGE “no no”. So I wistfully turn to my motherly duties allowing myself to let go of my desire to share while also letting go of the impulse to become angry. I want to go out and socialize but I also want my household to be as stable as possible and I seem to ultimately be practicing the art of letting go to the point I’m letting go of things I shouldn’t….like my desire to write or build relationships that fuel a greater purpose. Everyone says “oh no, you can’t let that
    happen you need to ask for help and delegate your time”. I absolutely agree but the struggle to find an acceptable babysitter and justify my never ending leave of absence from the workforce is mentally draining. The end result is we can’t know what type of “vert” we really are until we’ve experienced both sides and really indulged in spreading our wings and God knows I haven’t even begun… Thank you again for sharing💛💛💛


  3. Great read! I took the Myers Briggs test for free online a few years ago. I remember being surprised how high I rated as an introvert. I love people and I thrive off of being social with people that I know or are like minded. However, put me in a room with strangers I don’t have anything in common with and I shrink. Or at least I want to shrink. I get very self conscious. It’s funny, most of my friends are surprised by this because I’m usually a pretty loud and chatty person around them. So much so that people often invite me to things where mingling is called for, and I try to find a way out of it!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is really relatable! I also think we can morph in different situations, and thoughout our lives. “Many times it is a daunting task to get out of my house and socialize, but once I am out I usually enjoy being around others and am usually good at it” – this is me!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Which Vert are You? — The Bipolar Writer – Stone in the Road

  6. Wonderful … absolutely wonderful. I too am a bit of both. I can get a little overexcited in social situations and have to calm myself down but equally I desperately need time alone to gather myself together again. The more I socialise the less excitable and normal I become and the more easily I find new friends. We move a lot so this has been a good learning curve. What’s great is to read your post as it confirms what I believe, which is that you can be just a bit of everything. Thank you. Katie

    Liked by 2 people

  7. When I’m social people feel that’s who I’m really meant to be, when I act otherwise, it doesn’t work for me. I used to feel I was an introvert, I’m sure I have a lot of that personality type in me but it never seems natural, when I act like one people feel I’m hiding another side of me. O well, i guess I’m an ambivert

    Liked by 2 people

    • I m happy to know we can never both. I think it is important to be true to yourself and try not to be who you think others want you to be. So important, but difficult to be authentic. I learned this later in life. Wish I knew how and was strong enough to be true to myself earlier in life. Nothing etong with being smart ambivert. Just be the best you you can be. Hugs, Sue ❤🌻🌹💐🌷😊

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Great post! Sometimes I wonder if I am either extrovert or an introvert. Usually I am very sociable but like you said, I like my alone time as well. I never thought about being both before, so this really opened my eyes! Keep up the awesome posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much. I am very happy you liked my post. Your kind d comments made me very happy. Thru mean the world to me. Do yhsnk you from the bottom of my heart. Have a happy, healthy and fabulous day. Hugs, Sue ❤💐🌹🌻🌷😊


  9. Being social is good for my mental health, and I enjoy it. But it does drain me and I then require my solitude after to recuperate. The more “practice” I get at it though, the less time it takes me to recharge. According to the chart in your post I’m definitely an introvert apparently.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You sound a lot like me. I do love to socialize once I am out and about but it drains me too. I agree I think if we practice at anything we can get better. I need to socialize more again. It sounds like you are doing well. I pray that is true. Hugs, Sue ❤🌻👍

      Liked by 1 person

  10. but instead fluctuate between being an introvert and extrovert..🙌
    The way you give words to your thoughts it’s beautiful
    I can totally relate myself with it.
    I am feeling satisfied after reading your blog

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Love this so much as you have just described me to a T! I have always said that I am an introverted extrovert, not knowing there was an actual classification for us! Thanks for sharing ♥️

    Liked by 2 people

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