10 years. It still hasn’t sunk in.
To the start of another ten-year journey.
Today marks my official anniversary date of my first time attempting suicide. It feels so surreal. My journey over the past ten years was the lowest darkest lows and some of the strangest highs. I have tested the limits of who I am as an individual and a human being.
I have loved.
I have lost.
I have fought a great war, and while I have lost many battles along the way, I can say it feels great to just be alive. Sure, it isn’t always fun being in my own skin. Just today my so anxiety is at high levels, but I combat these feelings by leaving my comfort zone and writing in my favorite coffee spot.
I wish those of you who follow my blog could have been with me on the entire journey of the last ten years, but I making up the lost time with my blog and my memoir. I feel really sentimental in this moment. I say this all the time, but I really never thought that I would ever reach such a huge milestone in my life.
This is it. The beginning of a new chapter in my life. In this moment I have found the understanding that there was always something at work in my life, and it is why no matter how hard I tried, I was meant to be here. As I continue to reflect on the past ten years it will be to understand enough of the past to make my memoir something great.
“The Bipolar Writer” was born out of the need to be “James the Writer” and the fact that “my diagnosis will always be a part of me.” I decided today to cherish every day for the next ten years because at the end of this new journey I will be a better person.
Thank you for every follower of my blog that brightens up my every day with comments, praises, and their stories. It means the world to me.
Always keep fighting.
Photo Credit: Aneta Ivanova