Well, here I am. At the end of one journey, and another I am embarking on for the next ten years. Wow. Ten years. It’s amazing to have been on this long journey with the peaks and valleys, and with all my different issues fighting for attention on any given day, that I am still here. My social anxiety likes to control me one day, and my depression consumes me pushing me into darkness and abyss when it can.
I feel great about where I am right now. The tail end of the first ten years of “my diagnosis life” was never really great, and it had its darkness. But I am still here fighting the good fight. I have learned so many things over the journey, like how mindfulness breathing and CBT can help curb my severe social anxiety so that for a few hours a day, I can find solace outside my safe place at home.
Ten years seems like an eternity, and If you asked me ten years ago if I would be alive today, I would have laughed. The joke was on me.
This blog has become my place of solace. A place where for moments in time I can share my experiences with being Bipolar, and help people along the journey of dealing with a mental illness. The positive energy that I have received over the past few months has been the most amazing feeling a writer can get. When people tell me that I have inspired them to write because I am so open to writing down my story, well it makes me want to write even more here on my blog and in my memoir The Bipolar Writer.
I am excited to start a new journey. I always figured my life, if I were to write it all down, would be in sections of ten years. From here on out most of what I write for this blog will serve a future version of the Bipolar Writer, maybe ten years from now it will help me write part two of my journey. But right now my focus is on the hear and now.
What is in store this week? I plan on talking about what this week means to me, and how I felt about that week just ten years ago. I will share a short story, one that I wrote a long time ago called Angel on the Ward. It is a short story that meant a lot to me, and I hope it ends up in the memoir.
On the other side of this is the fact that I will be super busy. I need to keep my head down as I work towards my goals of just getting through this really tough week. It won’t be easy by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I have some idea how bad my depression will get at some point this week. But hey, I will keep fighting.
Photo Credit: Johannes Plenio